hi jennibear, if you have a good relationship with your mum you need to talk to her about her drinking. It really is a disease, and it can take control. She is already on serious medications, she has serious health issues, she needs to stop. Alcoholism is not something that can be fixed, it has to be lived with for the rest of her life, one day at a time is the AA motto. When she agrees she has a problem, then she will be able to stop, with the right help. I wish you good luck, your mother is blessed to have you, I hope she can see her problem. hugs, Marie.
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03-04-2012 11:51 #11
03-04-2012 13:19 #12Senior Member
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- Jan 2010
Big hugs, firstly! I know first hand how hard it can be to live with alcoholism in the family, my mum started drinking about 13 years ago, probably about 4-5 glasses a night but she's little and barely eats anything, I grew up from 13 cooking my own dinners and locking myself away in my room since she refused to admit it was a problem and lied to the family I tried to confide in, it got worse and worse and you could see it was mentally destroying her as well as physically. So after one bad night my sister, my DF and myself (we were all living together then) we said enough is enough and called the RBH and got her admitted. She had to admit it was a problem though, which she did thankfully because of the breakdown she'd had that night due to family members. They kept her in for a week, then discharged her, she was on some medication that apparently helps too, but her doctor who fills the prescription was so belittling to her that she stopped and has been wine free on her own since Sept 2009. I still worry about it daily and I think I always will. Especially now we are 120k from her. We had to get to know her all over again, since she'd disappeared for years into someone that only gave the generic "I'm fine" response to everything.
She was a full time worker and if I were to ask them, they would have NO idea that she ever had a problem, she got that good at hiding her life from people.
If your mum refuses to admit there is a problem, the only thing I can suggest is seeking help for YOU to talk to someone about how you feel, how you're coping. I never did and I lost my adolescence due to it. I have issues with the family members that blame me for her drinking (they thought that she drank because I was an angry teenager - I was angry because she drank and noone would believe me!)
If you need to chat vent whatever, PM me. This is my first post in a loooong while on here but I couldn't not reply knowing others have to deal with this too x
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03-04-2012 13:42 #13
My dad and now brother are high functioning alcoholics.
Regardless of the fact we have a family history of particularly men in our family being high functioning alcoholics (good jobs, responsible reliable, good people, seemingly fit and healthy etc) dying young from alcohol related illness.
I just take a deep breath and try not to give it much thought seeing as my brother and dad are both very open and honest - bordering on proud - about their addictions.
03-04-2012 13:47 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
How stressful for you. That's a lot of alcohol. More than 2 standard drinks a day is said to be a danger to one's health, I can't imagine the risks associated with so much alcohol.
I have no experience with alcoholism apart from being close with a collegue who was a raging alcoholic for many years. He cannot have a SIP of alcohol - it's all or none for him and I'm fairly sure most people with alcohol problems are this way inclined. I'd ask her if she wants help and see if you can help her get rid of all the alcohol in the house as a start and get her onto AA.
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