I let my children roam free around the playground and parks . I like for my children to discover things on their own without me being in their face or getting in their way. But with that I keep my eyes on them and if they are about to go somewhere or do something danergous I either tell them to move away and becareful or remove them from the situation.
I honestly think that parent was rude. There is no reason for her behaviour. She saw your daughter coming she couldve slowed the swing down. That's what I normally do when I am pushing my daughter on the swing I see a child near by and heading our way I slow it down to be safe. After all I dont know what the childs intentions are or where the child is heading.
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02-04-2012 11:45 #11
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02-04-2012 11:56 #12Senior Member
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- Oct 2011
Don't beat yourself up about it. To me, it sounds like you followed one of your parenting principles, which is to give your kids the freedom to explore. You will have your own reasons for that principle - maybe you want to encourage curiosity, maybe you want to send the message to your kids that the world is basically a safe place and they don't need to be scared. (You were also trying to prevent your other kid from getting sunburnt, which feels reasonable to me).
Only you know whether you fell short of your own standards of safety. If you did, just forgive yourself and decide to watch more carefully next time. If you are fine with what you did, then don't let someone else's ideas or judgements dictate the way you do things. That other mum might just have different ideas about how closely kids should be watched and that is perfectly ok but shouldn't impact the way you parent your kids.
IMO, she has a passive aggressive way of dealing with anger, and has role modelled that to her kids. To me, that is more damaging to a child than being hit by a swing...
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02-04-2012 12:21 #13
Thanks all, I guess the reaction was a shock to me, it is not how I would have reacted and so I questioned my own sense of responsibility.
DD is very advanced, she has been walking since 8 mths old. Because of this she is really confident on play equipment. And so I stand back. I have previously intervened to help other children in the park and I don't think anything bad of the other parents. DD has never been hurt or hurt other kids in the playground, she is very gentle and stands back mostly unless it's around bigger kids then she gets over excited which is what happened today. She was just running wild excited about the bigger kids.
In this instance I agree that my child's safety was not the direct responsibility of the swing lady.
I am a good parent and am very aware of my children's behaviour, good and bad. I love having my happy go lucky enthusiastic DD.
02-04-2012 12:32 #14-
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
4 and under I was a helicopter parent. I was no more than 3 feet away from her whenever we went the park, there was no way my kid was going to get hurt on my watch.
That said, whenever I was pushing her on the swing, I would always look out for other kids possibly wandering into the swings way, on more than a few occasions I have grabbed a few out of harms way. I did look round for the mothers and usually they were already running over to apologise, in which case I would smile and say 'oh no worries'..or something to that effect..
If I saw the mother sat on a bench 20 feet away nattering to a friend when this happened I would probably give her a stern look and tell her kid to not go near the swings as it was dangerous.
Had I seen the mother sat 20 feet away with a baby in a pram its a different story.I think most mothers understand that sometimes your attention has to be split between the 2 children, you cant have eyes on every side of your head...
I reckon this person was just having a bad day
02-04-2012 12:40 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
I am a "free range parent" of my own DS and a "helicopter parent" of other kids in his vicinity because he is a 2.5yr old bully! The only time I intervene is if DS hurts someone else or if he hurts himself, other than that I watch him learn by consequences.
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02-04-2012 12:41 #16
I always let Hayden do his own thing at the park, no helicoptering here! However, I would notice if someone was swinging their kid high, and I would be watching it like a hawk to make sure he didn't go near it.
That said, if I was the swinger I would ALSO be watching the space around me like a hawk and making sure I wasn't about to ram some toddler with my swing.
These things happen, don't let it get you down. I think she was a bit of a tool to get the crankies at you. Get over it lady, it's a park, and kids will be kids.
I personally thing that ALL swings should be in a seperate fenced area away from the other play equipment. It just seems logical to me.
02-04-2012 12:50 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
Kids are kids! They walk in front of people, knock into people's shopping trolleys, say inappropriate things... that's all part of it! When they do these things we correct them, explain why they can't do it, and that's how they learn. Yes, we need to do our best to keep them from getting hurt but if we bubble-wrap them and don't let them explore, they'll never learn anything.
It's fine to let a 19mo play and explore the playground. You corrected your DD and appologised to the other lady, there's nothing more you could have done.
Don't beat yourself up about it.
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02-04-2012 14:33 #18-
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- Feb 2010
- Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
we are 'free range' parents too.
If DD was knocked over by a swing Id be telling her "watch out for the swings darling, you have to look where you are going"
02-04-2012 14:46 #19
OP. i have no idea what true playground ettiquette is.
i once again had people removing my toddler from equiptment *they* deemed too advanced for her this weekend, and then giving me 'that' expression when i came running to figure out what was wrong.
in regards to swings - i do usually get up the second i see one of mine heading towards the swings - and i'd be unimpressed if someone was rude just because i wasn't following them around the whole playground, never more than two steps away
02-04-2012 14:53 #20
I dont know what the ettiquete is, i wouldnt hve gotten angry in that situation tho, i would have done my best to avoid your child getting hurt.
Im a helicopter parent, because my little one is like a timebomb in the playgeound and i want to protect him, and others from him.
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