Yep. I wish I could let the barriers down too - but I'm so used to being the odd one out, I just put them up automatically. I just assume people find me strange and don't want to hang out. I also have no idea how the whole thing is supposed to work - like who calls who? Do you invite someone over? Then what? How long do you stay for chatting over coffee? I always feel like I have stayed too long (even after 10 minutes!) and hastily leave haha! Plus I freeze one on one and don't know what to say :P Gosh, I'm clueless!
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Results 31 to 40 of 52
01-04-2012 02:25 #31
01-04-2012 06:21 #32
It makes me sad to read that do many of you change who you are just to have friends
You never know, the more you become yourself, you may form more and closer friendships. I know I say the wrong things sometimes, act immature and some people are probably thinking I'm a right bell end. But I know my friends love me for who I am which in turn helps me embrace who I am.
Since embracing the person I am, I have better confidence and self worth (which was barely existant at one point)
I hope you all start to feel like you belong and can be yourselves
01-04-2012 09:43 #33
I wouldn't say I'm socially awkward, but I often feel like I don't "fit" with anyone, and when I (rarely!) find myself in social situations, I will change my demeanour, body language, vocabulary, etc. in an attempt to pretend to fit in. And yes, I frequently find it exhausting.
My main problem though is that I'm a bit reclusive and very socially lazy, and so is my DF. We just like spending all our time chilling out together at home, but as a result we don't have friends (him especially). This doesn't bother us most of the time, but recently it's sucked when we realised that aside from my extended family and family friends, we had hardly anyone to invite to our wedding. His brother tried to organise a bucks for him, paintballing I think, but DF didn't have enough people to invite to make up minimum numbers, so it's not happening now. I have my kitchen tea today, but most of the guests are extended family and some of my mum's middle aged friends. I will still have a great time, but it does make me sad at times like these that we don't really have friends. My "best friends" are my two cousins who I hardly see these days and who I don't have much to do with any more.. how sad is that? They are my bridesmaids and they are organising today for me; they are totally awesome, but have their own lives and groups of friends that I am completely not a part of.
I am hoping that once I join mothers groups or playgroups I might have a reason to make friends again. But as usual I will probably feel like I don't fit in and I just want to go home.
01-04-2012 16:52 #34
Oh my goodness yes! I have a few close friends that I feel comfortable with and the rest - well I get anxious in the lead up to meeting up with them, I've even not answered my phone to them because I feel too worried to. I've been meaning to try a mothers group but I'm so worried that I'll not fit in that I haven't been yet.
I also have feeling of never being good enough and that I'm not really good at anything, that I only just scrape by.
These days I even get a bit anxious hitting post reply in here because I feel like I don't fit in here anywhere.
01-04-2012 17:42 #35
Yes. Everyone seems to click with other people and whatever... I can make psuedo-friends, but not people I'd have deep connections with or anything. Just people I can talk to a little so I'm not completely alone... but nobody close.
I also just feel like a freak, because I honestly don't even believe in TMI... and that seems to be really abnormal. You could tell me anything and I wouldn't think it was TMI... unless you were my parents and it had to do with sex... lol... but I just don't even care. I see no real point in keeping secrets or being particularly private, but others seem to think this is very important... and it's just one thing that makes me feel abnormal. Why don't I care? Why am I so fine with being an open book? Why do others care so much about keeping all these things to themself and think it's weird when you share things with them?
I dunno, I don't think me and people mesh well. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually an alien... lol. (not seriously... but it kinda feels like that).
01-04-2012 18:26 #36
01-04-2012 18:56 #37
I certainly have felt on the outer in some situations, like I don't belong and don't fit.
01-04-2012 19:34 #38
01-04-2012 19:58 #39
But i chose not to explore it. I didnt have much support from family regarding it. And i dont see the psych anymore.
01-04-2012 20:02 #40
Yes i'm another who feels this way. I just don't fit in anywhere. I don't make friends easy and the older i get the harder it seems to get.
I have social anxiety which really doesn't help. I don't deal well with social situations, i'm shy, not outgoing at all so people always just assume i'm rude or whatever.
Maybe thats just how it is though? Maybe not everyone is meant t fit in? We will always be surrounded by people but we will always feel and be every much alone... i don't know? maybe thats just how it is?
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