Ohmygoodness.. This is terrible.. My DP tried to play this card except I was one step ahead of him.. I stopped doing his dishes, his dinner, his washing, his toiletry shopping, basically everything to do for him I stopped doing it.. He soon started asking me why things weren't done and I said they were, for me and the children but why should I honestly do anything for you when you never help me.. Long story short.. He has became very domesticated lol
Good luck honey. A dose of their own medicine doesn't hurt them ;-)
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30-03-2012 13:29 #21
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30-03-2012 13:31 #22
OK in total the adults in your house work 60 hours a week outside the home. You work 20 hours which is 1/3 of the total.
So he should do 1/3 of the work in the home. Including looking after the kids. I suggest making up a list and allocating 1/3 of the tasks to him.
30-03-2012 13:33 #23
So technically you could do 20hrs of house work a week and you've done your 40hrs and you can sit on your butt and wait for the fairies?
Sorry OP your H is being a massive jerk. My husband works anywhere from 40-60 hrs a week depending on the shifts and knows he still has to pull his weight in the house.
Let your H know that laziness and that attitude isn't tolerated. Don't do his stuff. Hell do nothing for the week. Tell him you did your 40hrs. It's either working together or it's not working at all. And when it doesn't work at all, things stop working altogether and suddenly you find yourself in a big mess. So puttin away the dishes probably isn't that hard.
30-03-2012 14:10 #24
I also think many men are like this if they can get away with it. That would be a nice life, to have all non employment hours as leisure time and not even need to find food or clean after oneself!
I bet you're exhausted. Stop doing all non child and self care related activity, you need a rest. Keep those standards low until he joins in.
30-03-2012 14:22 #25
This was a huge problem in our household. While we had no kids and both worked everything was 50/50. As soon as I hada child, then suddenly ALL the house stuff was MY job, he hardly ever helped with the kids, never got up at night with them... anyway, he's now my EX!!
I'm sorry he's being like this, you need to give him an ultimatum and stick to it, otherwise he will never change.
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30-03-2012 15:58 #26
I have a friend whose husband does this and she just accepts it. Don't settle for it jennibear, its so not right! I love the postit ideas, combined with a strike
oh no hang on, he cooks dinner because... he LIKES to cook! Yep, that makes it OK
30-03-2012 16:21 #27
Wow, just wow, I don't have any words!!!
PPs have already given you plenty of useful advise, so I won't repeat, but
I hope he realizes he is being a ****, and apologies to you
30-03-2012 17:41 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
Thanks all for your replys and advice. In all honesty he is a great husband and father. he helps out with the kids heaps when hes home but its the housework im really haivng issues with. He said to me 'you have a pint about you working too and ill make an effort but i dont think it should be soley my responsibility'. He did put the dishes away but the laundry is still sitting there and by christ im NOT doing it!!!
Im still not happy, and i really wish i had the guts to leave all his washing and cook only for me and the kids but i really dont!!1
We'll see how we go! Thanks
Im still not happy
30-03-2012 17:52 #29-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
30-03-2012 17:58 #30
Clock off when he gets home... Just sit down on the couch.. and when he sits down and says something about the housework just shrug and say.. I'm not at work right now, I'm home with my husband and children.
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