His attitude is ridiculous. What does he think unpartnered people do after a 40hr work week? Sit around and wait for the cleaning fairy? Or households where both people work 40hr weeks?
Looking after children all day, working at night, and doing almost all the housework! You deserve a medal. And some help. I'm so sorry he doesn't understand.
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30-03-2012 11:08 #11
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30-03-2012 11:39 #12
That's awful! I work similar hours and have the same arguments with my DH.
I've often told him that if the only thing he has to contribute is money, then he can leave now, cause I can make my own!
That works for awhile, then he slacks off again. Big hugs, I get what you are going through.
30-03-2012 11:45 #13Child led parent here...save me :)
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- Feb 2010
This annoys me so much I work 40 hours a week, look after DD on my own most days, and do a majortiy of the housework...I dont know its about doing making the house work no matter how 'even' things are. Sometimes it isn't 'even' but if things are not getting down I would not leave DP to struggle!!!
you deserved better then that comment and lack of support. I hope he changes his mind!
30-03-2012 11:47 #14
It's both of your jobs. Many times my ex and I had arguments over whos job it was to do the housework. I was the sahm so the majority of the housework and child care was mine during the day/week, but on weekends and nights I wanted him to help. He did on occasions...after I cracked the sh!ts.
30-03-2012 11:57 #15
The thing that always gets me about these threads (and it saddens me how often they come up) is I want to say to these men - so what if you think it is not your "job". So what if you think you might be doing slightly more than your "share" (which is usually not the case anyway). Your wife/partner is stressed and unhappy and needs help. Isn't that enough reason to do it? Isn't doing a little bit extra to make her happy and reduce her stress worth it? Don't you love her and WANT to make her happy and help her out?
Last edited by shelle65; 30-03-2012 at 11:59.
30-03-2012 11:57 #16
Suggest to him that you'd be happy to quit your night work and concentrate on the house-work/child rearing if he wants to play the provider role. Chances are he's enjoying the extra money you bring in and would no doubt miss it. You continue your paid work, he helps around the house.
Working 40 hours does not entitle him to a slave...which is basically how he's treating you.
Last edited by TeenyT; 30-03-2012 at 12:00.
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30-03-2012 12:11 #17
I don't know how so many women still put up with crap like that and assume all the housework. If you're not prepared to accept it (and who would!) then you need to bring it home to him in no uncertain terms.
But the thing that annoys me the most about this is the fact guys like your husband even need to be told or even asked to help out with the housework!
I would never date a guy who was this archaic just personally - I never had to ask my ex to help out with housework so I know not all guys are like this but I do hear sooooo many women's stories of their husbands being like this and it baffles me....
Anyway, I hope you speak up to him and don't just let it go - don't be one of those women.... that's what those guys count on! Good luck, I hope he was just having a selfish moment and apologises later!
30-03-2012 12:18 #18
I'm having the same problem with my H at the moment but what's pees me more is when I ask anyone their advice I get the well your the wife isn't that your job card. Well yes I am the wife and the mum but he is also the dad, it's also his washing and his mess I am constantly picking up. Oh how I feel your anger (silent scream here)
30-03-2012 12:20 #19
30-03-2012 12:23 #20
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