Overnight my partner and I have decided to split up. It was mutual mostly so I just can't believe how devastated I am. I knew we had problems & I was really hoping to address them, but upon seeing him last night (we don't live together) I asked if he was happy: no and then if he was with me just because of our daughter and the silence was deafening. I knew we were unhappy but I didn't know the foundation of our relationship was solely that we had a child together. He said he loves me but it's just not enough and that we have nothing in common besides our daughter (somewhat true, but I never saw this as an issue). My issues with him were that he was never around and last night he told me that was because my company wasn't all that 'bearable' because I was at him about the fact that he was never around - kind of like a chicken or the egg situation.. Did the problems start with him not being around, or did it start with me being at him for not being around enough.
It's 6am & I've barely slept, can't stop crying & have all of those post break up thoughts, wondering if it's the right thing, wondering what the hell I am going to do & mostly, am I going to be alone forever? In my head I know that things do get better & you move on from the hurt, but all I want to do to get over it is never see him again. I feel like such a failure that I couldn't make this work - my daughter is only 12 weeks old.
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29-03-2012 06:08 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
Last edited by PorkyPies; 29-03-2012 at 06:17.
29-03-2012 09:00 #2
Couldn't read and not offer hugs. Seems like maybe it was for the best... I know it doesn't feel like it now, but in time you'll look back and realise it is.
I just came out of a rough relationship and it hurt, but it was for the best. So I feel your pain *hugs*
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29-03-2012 09:10 #3
It really does hurt to begin with, and that is because you are in the grief process, your emotions will be all over the place for a while, and will slowly begin to settle down.
I think at this stage, you just need to give yourself permission to feel all of those feelings even the ones which contradict others, as it is all just so normal, try to disengage your minda wee bit, let the feelings flow, and allow themto work their way out, and perhaps try to distract yourself a little from the overwhelmingness of it by spending time with friends or family who will help buoy you up by being positive with you, and not worry if you burst into tears, or get angry or something.
Do you have access to a counsellor at all? When I didn't have one, I used to ring Lifeline when my emotions got all too much, and just the letting it all out to someone who was impartial was just so good.
Take care, it's a tough time, but you will work through it all with time.
29-03-2012 14:17 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
It's such a catch 22 isn't it, I keep reminding myself it's for the best but if it is, why does it make me feel so cr*p? AM, you got that spot on, there are so many contradicting feelings at the moment that I am doing my own head in. I just want to be at that stage where I am okay, when we are okay. I know I am really lucky to have great family support so I am relying heavily on them at the moment.
NutsyK - don't be sorry, it's always nice to read reassuring posts that's for sure! I would love to leave bub with Mum & XDP but she won't take a bottle so I have to solely BF her. I know that we can be friendy, but I just want to move past the hurt.
A positive from all of this is that I finally got off my lazy bum & exercised today If I'm going to attract prince charming, I'll need to lose my baby weight right? Hehe
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