How do you connect with your unborn/newborn child?

[jjhughes]

Hi everyone,
I'm a graduate student at Indiana University and I'm doing a project on designing technology that can help fathers feel more connected to their unborn (and newborn) child. I thought what better way to get research on this than asking real people?


If you can answer any of the questions below, it would be a great help. You can answer it for the father (by say that you are), or have the father answer themselves.




What did the father do/are doing to help make a connection between you and your child? (both born and unborn)


What do you wish you could do, but don't have the means?


You may also respond if you have any other opinions or thoughts on the topic. Anything can be helpful! You might also help other expecting fathers learn new tips!


Thanks! And let me know if you have any questions.

[Veve]

just bumping the thread - please help

[summastarlet]

My husband talked to my belly when I was pregnant. He also used to put his hands on my belly to feel the kicks (though of course this wasn't until later in the pregnancy). I think this helped him to feel more connected.

He came to quite a few of my ultrasounds as well and seeing the baby kicking and moving round inside of me up on screen was a great way for him to feel connected. Finding out the gender really helped him too as he could then talk about his son.

I also think that setting up our babies room was a nice way for my husband to feel involved and realise there was a baby coming into the home. He really enjoyed doing the painting and setting up the furniture.

I think sometimes it's harder for the partners to feel excited/connected as they aren't feeling the baby move inside them or watching their body change and grow so it's important to find other ways to get them feeling more a part of the pregnancy.

[Cue]

DH came to all the appointments and loved seeing the heartbeat. He wasn't too big on feeling the baby move but later in the pregnancy he'd play with her by doing raspberries or saying "boo!" to my belly loudly - she'd always jump!

I think one of the biggest bonding/involvement things he did was assist in the birth. Our OB is big on getting dads to be part of it, so DH actually pulled her out once her head was out, cut the cord and announced the gender (we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl). I think that was a really special moment for him.

[Blessedwith3boys]

My dh came to all the scans, always talked to baby and touched my belly. We also named him right away so we could call him by his name.

[jjhughes]

Thank you for all the responses! These are great! When I'm done with my project I'll try and post my findings here to help out other new parents/expecting parents


Keep 'em coming!

[Bubbles10]

my husband did the things above too, but didn't really connect with baby until they were born. and that is ok too! i had more connection than DH with baby prenatally, but most of my bonding also occurred after birth.

[Monkey'sMummy]

DP came to all of my appointments. He spoke to my belly regularly. Towards the end of the pregnancy he read a book a night to my belly too.

I had a C-section, so for the first few days I was bed ridden, DP did everything (except feed) - I didn't change a nappy til well after I left hospital!! And i still cant wrap or settle DS as good as my DP can.

DP said that by being thrust into the role of "primary carer" like that really helped in the bonding for him. DP also does lots of skin to skin cuddles with our son.

[Lumpy Melon]

Dh used to rub bio oil into my belly every night and talk to DS.
In the last few months he started reading dr Seuss books to my belly before bed.
Every appointment he came to and always felt the kicks when he was at home.