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  1. #1
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    Default Frequently waking toddler

    Hi everyone,

    I am asking for advice on behalf of a dear friend of mine. Her son is 22 months old and has never slept a whole night without waking up.
    She's been a single mum for about a year now and she hardly sees FOB these days. So she doesn't get a break.
    I have babysat her son before and he has a great time with me and DS. I have offered her to have him sleep over for a night, but he can't as he's still breastfed and will scream booooooobieeeeee all night if she leaves him with me. All because she still breastfeeds him to sleep. She's now terrified of weaning him because of this.

    She works part time and is absolutely exhausted right now. He wakes up about 3-5 times each night. He doesn't cry often, he just gets up and walks into her room and starts talking to her. So she puts him in her bed to get some sleep. She doesn't want to put him in her bed and co-sleep, but its the only way she'll get an hour or 2 sleep.

    She has tried chamomile tea, tissue salts, strict bedtime routines, massages, etc. Nothing works.
    I have advised her to ring Tresillian and have a chat with them, but she never has time to do so because she works.

    Does anyone have any other ideas or suggestions she might be able to try? I am thinking that if he gets to sleep through for a few nights in a row, his body clock will kick in and keep it up.

    Thanks BH!

  2. #2
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    Hugs to your friend. Get her to google Dr Jay Gordon's night weaning plan. And she will need some support to follow through on it.

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    Misschief  (29-03-2012)

  4. #3
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    Im offering her whatever support I can give. We're both single mums, but I've been blessed with a somewhat decent sleeper. She has no family up her other than her mum who's quite sick at the moment. Im also pretty much the only friend she has up here too.
    I will have a look for that Dr. Jay Gordon and see what that's about. Thanks for the tip

    She's that tired that she had a microsleep this morning when driving to work. I nearly died when she told me that. Things could have ended up so very very bad
    I told her to give her son to me for a few hours during the day so she can have a nap, but she wont. She's happy for me to babysit him, but she said she cant sleep. She continuously wakes up with the expectation of her DS waking up any moment.
    As she is such a dear friend of mine, it kinda hurts to see her so tired and I just want to help her have a night off.
    Every time we talk, she says "Im soooooooo tired H. I dont know what to do anymore. I cant keep up with it anymore".
    Imagine no sleep for 2 years...... I would've had myself admitted by now She's an incredibly strong girl.

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    Hi Hun, hugs to your friend, I'm just about to try Rescue Remedy for my DS, it was recommended to me by DH ex wife who is a chemist, it's all natural and doesn't make them groggy but it apparently helps them to calm/reduce the anxiety before sleeping, it has been suggested that DS has some separation anxiety in regards to sleeping cause during the day it looks like he couldn't give too hoots as to who his with lol.

    If your in the position of you staying the night at her house to allow her to have a sleep in it just might give her that little lift she's in need of. I hope this helps

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    Misschief  (29-03-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cluky79 View Post
    Hi Hun, hugs to your friend, I'm just about to try Rescue Remedy for my DS, it was recommended to me by DH ex wife who is a chemist, it's all natural and doesn't make them groggy but it apparently helps them to calm/reduce the anxiety before sleeping, it has been suggested that DS has some separation anxiety in regards to sleeping cause during the day it looks like he couldn't give too hoots as to who his with lol.

    If your in the position of you staying the night at her house to allow her to have a sleep in it just might give her that little lift she's in need of. I hope this helps
    Thanks for that. The tissue salt was supposed to help him relax as well, but it failed. I guess when you're as desperate as she is, you'll try anything once. I will let her know about this Rescue Remedy.
    Can you let me know how your DS reacts to it?

    If only I could stay over at her place, but she has a small 2br unit and I have a big 19kg toddler myself lol. Our boys are the best buddies though. So they go well when I babysit him during the day.
    I even suggested to her that my parents can take my DS for a night, so I can have her son and let him sleep in DS's bed. If he wakes up during the night, that's fine. I can handle that. At least she can get some sleep. Even if she does wake up during the night, she can roll over and go back to sleep knowing he's in good hands.

    Oh well, if she keeps complaining about her tiredness, I will keep suggesting to get her to try a sleepover once. She'll eventually cave in as I know she wont be able to keep going like this for much longer.

    I sent her a text message about Dr. Jay Gordon and she said she will look him up on Google in the morning. Hopefully there will be some suggestions that can ease her anxiety about the weaning.

    Thanks ladies. I much appreciate your input

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    Yep I'll let you know how the rescue remedy goes

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    Misschief  (29-03-2012)

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    Hi Misschief, I don't have an answer as I have the same problem with my dd... she's 3.5 and does the same thing.. on a bad night once every hour. drives me insane. BUT.... what i wanted to say,is your friend is lucky to have a friend like you. It's nice when friends be concerned and want to help.

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    Misschief  (29-03-2012)

  12. #8
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    Probably not what you want to hear, but I breastfed DS and coslept with him until he was nearly 4. He fed the most overnight from when he was 12-24 months old, then it gradually got better (with no interference from me). I have no advice, as I just 'rode it out' with DS, but I feel for your friend, and that is scary that she had a micro sleep in the car.

    My DS is now 5 and is a brilliant sleeper, never ever wakes unless he's sick or needs to wee. I hope your friend finds a solution and that she doesn't have to wait as long as I did to get some sleep!

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    Misschief  (29-03-2012)

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    Ah this is a tricky one - I hope this thread shields some light and answers to help your friend out. I also have 2 children that don't sleep well and seem to play tag all night long wanting mummy cuddles - but thankfully it's just a comfort thing rather than wanting boobie - all the best

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    Misschief  (29-03-2012)

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    I wish your friend luck I hope she finds something that works. I have an all most 4 year old who still wakes up a few times a night most nights. I feel her pain.


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