Firstly - congrats!!
I was in the same situation only I was 16, my then DP voiced his concern (obviously we were both very young), I was doing it with or without him, no matter how young I was, an abortion was out of the question! He's a very doting dad now (although we never made it - and had a 2nd lol).
He will come around, maybe not in a relationship with you, but he'll definitely play a role in DD/DS life, he's just super scared!
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28-03-2012 21:10 #21-
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
- Western Sydney
28-03-2012 21:26 #22
Everyone has said what I would have said, so I won't repeat what they advised.
Just *hugs* from me . My DD (my second child, nearly 6 months old now) is the result of just one weekend 'fling' with her father. I've known him for over 9 years as he's my BIL's mate, but our courtship was literally only a couple of weeks down at my family's beach house and that one weekend together which resulted in our beautiful daughter. DD's father has been great from the start and is very much involved in her life, and I hope for your sake and your unborn baby's sake that the father comes around and stops freaking out. It really is so immature for him to be pressuring you to abort. He can't force you, and he may as well just man up and accept the responsibility.
Good luck xx
28-03-2012 23:11 #23Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
You both have a choice. You have a choice regarding the pregnancy. You made it and he doesnt like it but hes going to have to deal with it. He may change his mind once the pregnancy gets to a "no going back now" point. He may not. Id advise you not to wait on him. Likewise, he had a choice to make to stay w you or leave. He chose. You dont like it. He may chabge his mind about this too but you may also. If you are seriously set on bringing this child into the world, its time to forget about him. Being a parent requires grown up behavior and dealing w grown up emotions. He clearly isnt capable of that. Time to prove that you are and stop worrying about some guy youve Been involved with for only a couple months. There should be nothing left to always wonder about. He answered all your questions. Hes not the one, unless your idea of "the one" is some guy who abandons a woman after getting her pregnant and blames her for it. Sounds like you were headed for a very childish relationship. He did you a favor. You may not have a say in whether hes your bf or not so its time to accept it and get over it. You have no idea what youre in for come nine months from now. Good luck to you both
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29-03-2012 00:13 #24Junior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
Don't be sad. You have a huge reason to be the happier woman on the world. And you'll feel soon if not yet, I'm sure.
Adults should always act with both love and responsibility. That's all needed. You did right. Give him time.
I can assure you, you will never regret your decision. Having a baby is an amazing gift. Enjoy it! He/she will give you everything you need to overcome any difficulties you'll face. You'll realise it with every kick, with every sight into his/her eyes, with every smile he/she gives you... I'm in love with my little one, and you will with yours soon.
Men comes and goes. Your baby needs you and is happy and proud of you because you choose him/her as well as he/she have chosen you.
Congratulations! Go forward!
29-03-2012 00:24 #25
I wouldn't blame yourself for the end of the relationship, he's just trying to make you feel guilty. The relationship would have been just as over if you had decided to terminate. The honeymoon is over when something like this happens and you can't go back to the carefree getting to know each other time. You have to do what is right for you.
He may come around he may not but it's not your fault. You didn't ruin anything.
You said you wanted a baby more than anything and although it will be hard I'm sure it will also be wonderful.
So congratulations xx
29-03-2012 04:09 #26
Congratulations. Parenthood is the most fulfilling role u will ever play. It is tough though. It's the hardest job and will be very hard on your own. However you will get through the tough times and still feel privileged for the opportunity to be a mum.
This relationship may never have worked or may have been the best thing ever time will still tell. A child will not preclude u from finding a deep and meaningful relationship. In fact being a parent focuses you on what true love really is. You have never known love till you have a child.
You have made a choice, now express to him how u feel about him and where if you two aren't together where he is welcome in the child's life. I think that you also have to have discussions about what you deem are his obligations financially and physically. He might be freaking out as he feels powerless and backed into a corner.
29-03-2012 05:12 #27
I don't have much advice I'm afraid. Just want to say congrats and off some hugs.
29-03-2012 07:04 #28
I guess if this has been the guys reaction to the situation, then you probably aren't as well suited as you would have thought. I wish you all the very best. Being a single Mummy won't be easy, but it sounds like you have great support. You will make a great Mummy.
29-03-2012 07:13 #29
You should not be pressured into terminating a pregnancy and he should not be forced into becoming a father, and all babies should be well provided for and loved by those who create them and those who raise them.
Someone has to lose here, and as daunting as it is, you get to make those decisions on behalf of potentially three people. That's a lot of responsibility, so try to respect and understand his fears as you tell him what you have decided to do with his life as well as your own. There's no need to turn him into a bad guy.
Half of all babies in Australia are 'unplanned', so this is in fact a normal situation... but I bet it doesn't feel like it or what you had in mind for yourself 10 years ago. No matter how a baby comes into being, every one of them is a miracle, so be happy about your decision to get pregnant and enjoy. Be a great mum. Congratulations!
Last edited by Pru40; 29-03-2012 at 07:17. Reason: spelling
29-03-2012 08:23 #30
Does anyone recall the thread on here posted by a woman who was in her late 30s, pregnant to a newish boyfriend. The boyfriend pressured her to have a termination, saying that their relationship was too new and that if she had the baby he would leave her. He told her that if she had the termination they could TTC again in 6 months or a year.
She was unsure but had the termination. They stayed together for a bit but after a year he refused to TTC and said he didn't think he wanted children. I'm not sure what happened after that but I suspect they broke up. I still remember it and feel so sad for the woman.
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