What I find i judge is that when i see kids in the middle of winter, walking around the shops bare foot, and coughing like crazy, yet their parents have shoes on... how hard is it to put shoes on the kid? no matter how much my dd and ds don't want shoes on, they aren't allowed to walk without them unless A) you're in the backyard or B) you're gonna sit in the trolley at the shops. You never know what you can step on.
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26-03-2012 23:00 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Brisbane North
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26-03-2012 23:08 #12
We judge based on the values we grew up with, my mum was very for personal pride growing up coming from a father who was in the army. I'm the same and "judge" people who for example.. wear jeans to an interview, smoke whilst pg ect because it was something I was brought up not to do.
But at the same time I acknowledge that everyone is different and the world would be a very boring place if we were all the same.
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26-03-2012 23:14 #13
Yes I judge people, not always negatively though.
I do judge negatively when I see someone smoking right next to children, this is one of my biggest irks, it is just not fair!
But if someone has messy hair or whatever, I couldn't care less.
If someone is perfectly manicured, designer clothes, then I might judge that they look awesome.
Judging isn't always a bad thing.
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26-03-2012 23:25 #14
Yes I do pass judgement.
I'd love not to, but it's quite automatic.
My judgements remain private, as do the little lectures I give myself.
I force myself to act against my initial judgements, which has given me many positive and some not so positive moments to reflect on.
27-03-2012 06:44 #15
Thanks for being so honest everyone.
I can't say I judge a mum purely on how she looks. As some of you have said, if I see a mum who looks exhausted, her hair is a mess & she's practically still in her PJ's, I feel sorry for her because she had a tough night. If I see a mum in her designer clothing, hair done, makeup done, I'll think that she looks great.
I do judge on the actions mothers take. Eg. Smoking while pregnant or even right next to their child.. This really ticks me off. Swearing at your kids doesn't tick me off, it makes me sad. It makes me wonder if the mum is finding it hard to cope or if she is just an idiot. I don't think I'd ever tell my child he's an idiot or tell him that he's stupid.
27-03-2012 08:55 #16
yeah I tend to agree with the majority too, its actions rather than looks that i judge. I'm usually too busy watching my two girls and thinking about what i need to get done to pay much attention to other mums i pass during the day. I might be a little jealous of a mum that was well turned out, cos i don't have the time or energy to worry about my appearance, but that's MY issue, I'm a fairly daggy mum
I definitely find it hard not to judge when i see kids 'suffering' (for want of a better word) for the choices and actions of their parents, parents smoking or swearing etc... but yeah i feel for the parents who are having their buttons pushed in public, sometimes its really hard to keep your cool when the kids are acting up...
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27-03-2012 09:08 #17
I'm big on being appropriately dressed for the situation, so I guess yes, I do sometimes judge based on what someone is wearing, how it fits etc but this is for everyone not just mums. With that said, I will never verbalise my judgement, and will not think about it again afterward.
I don't feel I look at any mum any different than I would anyone else.
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27-03-2012 09:21 #18
I'd like to say that I don't but I'm human and I do. Not all the time. And not always harshly but sometimes it is. But I ALWAYS keep it to myself and I always try to make excuses for the person after I've made the judgement if you know what I mean?
I think how harshly or non harshly is directly representative of how I'm feeling about myself at the time. If I'm feeling very good about myself most of the time I don't even notice anyone else and if I do it's briefly and I don't care. If I feel really down on myself then I can be pretty harsh on others.
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27-03-2012 11:38 #19
We ALL judge! We just say we are being judgmental when it is negative.
I think we need to be a little open minded when we judge someone. Just because a mum wears trackies to drop off her kids to school doesn't make her a bogan. She is just relaxed. And probably a whole lot more confident and less self conscious than the mum who looks like she has stepped out of a salon at 8:30 am!
I will judge someone based on what they do rather than what they look like.
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27-03-2012 11:40 #20
I think I do....but at the moment I always seem to look at other mums and they seem to have it so together, look calm, organised, well dressed/groomed, having healthy home-made snacks for their toddlers and talking about how they did this, that, and other over the weekend, and I just look at them in amazement and envy, and wonder how on earth they do it!!!! they make it look so easy! So I guess I'm more judging them in a positively envious point of view.
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