I know not everyone thinks it's a choice I think the majority know sexuality isn't something you choose, it's an innate part of your being.
I grew up thinking I was straight because that's how I was conditioned to think. Then I went through a period where I considered myself asexual, then I met DP and realised I was never asexual, I was just never attracted to men. I tried - I really did - to make it work with guys. I even went out with one guy who proposed to me, and I seriously considered saying yes because it would have been so much easier than questioning myself even further - but I couldn't because there was nothing there.
But when you say it in reverse - "heterosexuality is a choice!" it just sounds ridiculous. You can't help who you're attracted to and to suggest a large chunk of the population have chosen a sexuality that will offer a significantly greater number of challenges is just crazy.
Not to mention that humans are animals. And homosexuality occurs in thousands of species so evolutionary speaking, it's not remarkable at all.
It upsets me to hear that people think it's okay that I have a gay relationship if I chose to but that since biologically my partner and I can't make a baby, we obviously shouldn't be able to have one and other such nonsense.
That's all I wanted to say.
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26-03-2012 09:18 #11
26-03-2012 09:25 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I agree with you rainbow. Not many people 'choose' their sexuality whether they be straight or gay. I actually don't believe that many people are 100% dead set hetero, I think there is a lot of fear out there to admit that. I can admit it.
My BIL is so homophobic to the point where he refuses to allow the tv show Glee to be on in his house. I seriously wonder about him and whether he's overcompensating for some feelings he won't admit. It's pretty extreme. I have no doubt he'd be 10000% against allowing gays to marry, I think it's none of his business which consenting adults marry or not - it has absolutely no affect on his own marriage.
26-03-2012 09:35 #13
Oh wow if only it was that easy I'm bi not by choice in any sense thanks to a awsome dh I get to explore this and not live a complete lie.
26-03-2012 09:35 #14
I read a really interesting article when I was studying sexuality in one of my gender/cultural studies classes which suggested that internalised homophobia was the most common type of homophobia there is; people who are same-sex attracted but can't admit to it so exert there frustration towards those who are 'out' and are able to act on it themselves.
I believe sexuality is continuum and people fall somewhere on the line, some closer toward heterosexuality, some closer to homosexuality and some in the middle (bi). Pretty much the Kinsey scale, actually.
26-03-2012 09:36 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
Yep, that's exactly what I believe too rainbow.
26-03-2012 09:38 #16
I'm currently getting my hair straightened by my gay hairdresser ( who is a good family friend) reading these threads out to him - he said why on earth would he "choose" a life of discrimination, being bullied at school, being frowned upon by his church, having his parents told to "fix" him, having some family members say they disapprove of his lifestyle , to not be able to marry his boyfriend of 5 years ( yet!)
If it were a choice he would choose to be straight as life would be easier
26-03-2012 09:38 #17
I don't know if anyone actually believes that being gay is a choice; it's pretty clear that we don't choose who we find attractive, however we can choose who we pursue or enter into a relationship with. I've found plenty of men attractive who I knew weren't good for me, so while I couldn't choose whether or not I was attracted to them I could choose not to be with them.
I suppose it is this logic that people use when they imply that gay people have a choice. No, they can't choose whether they're attracted to a person of the same sex, but they can choose to leave it at that, show incredible self-control and not actually pursue a relationship with them.
Now, why they would be expected to do that is beyond me...
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26-03-2012 09:38 #18
I absolutely think you can be bisexual though - as I believe sexuality is fluid; a continuum where different people fall along it in different places.
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26-03-2012 09:42 #19
26-03-2012 09:46 #20
Posted a video about this in the other thread... No one gave a toss.
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