Thoughts on surprise wedding???

[brooke88(mum2b09)]

DF and I have been engaged since last year and were planning on getting married March 2013.
I've been having a serious think about having a surprise wedding and disguising it as a fancy dress formal "Baby Q".
We only want something small with family and close friends.

Just wanting opinions and also if you were immediate family would you be annoyed if something like this was kept secret from you? Not sure if some will react badly.

TIA

[MoonMoon]

I love the idea of a surprise wedding :-) only thing is, if someone missed it thinking it was "just a BBQ" because of a prior engagement, but if they knew it was a wedding they'd really try to make it?

[Mrs E]

DH and I got married at our engagement party. Both parents knew (it was held in my parents backyard) and 2 close friends knew (one was MC and one was a witness) but that was it out of 70 people. Best night of my life!!! I'm not a girly girl so I shudder at the thought of a big fancy wedding. To me it was about a party with everyone we loved. We received such positive feedback as well so I highly recommend it

[brooke88(mum2b09)]

Yes that's what I'm a bit worried about, I don't want anyone missing out.
I've seen people do it at their engagement party too and have loved the idea. Never seen it at a Baby Shower though lol.
Going to send out invites 2 months in advance and hope everyone can make it!
Luckily I think my MIL would love the idea lol.

[MummaOJ]

Personally im not a fan, a friend of mine did this a few years ago when it was trendy and it backfired as people turned up late, ducked out for a smoke, couldnt make it on the day, she was stressed trying to keep the secret etc. I think if you want a small informal wedding why not just have that? We did it was great, low cost and fun. I dont see the point in the whole surprise. Just my opinion though.

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[brooke88(mum2b09)]

DH and I got married at our engagement party. Both parents knew (it was held in my parents backyard) and 2 close friends knew (one was MC and one was a witness) but that was it out of 70 people. Best night of my life!!! I'm not a girly girl so I shudder at the thought of a big fancy wedding. To me it was about a party with everyone we loved. We received such positive feedback as well so I highly recommend it

I think I might have to tell my Dad, he lives 3 hours away!
I'll see if I can talk DF into it lol. He said he doesn't care when we get married or how as long as we do.

[brooke88(mum2b09)]

Personally im not a fan, a friend of mine did this a few years ago when it was trendy and it backfired as people turned up late, ducked out for a smoke, couldnt make it on the day, she was stressed trying to keep the secret etc. I think if you want a small informal wedding why not just have that? We did it was great, low cost and fun. I dont see the point in the whole surprise. Just my opinion though.

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That's ok, after everyones opinions

[Tamtam]

Love the idea of a surprise wedding!!! But I wonder how stressful it is to keep it a secret?!?
I saw a show once where they had an engagement party but it was really their wedding so everyone managed to be there and they were surprised. I think it's a cool idea.

[Bluest Blue Box]

If the people you're thinking of inviting would all come for a barbecue then I think it would be awesome.
Wish I'd thought of it when I was planning my wedding. Would have saved me so much stress.

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[Mrs E]

I think I might have to tell my Dad, he lives 3 hours away!
I'll see if I can talk DF into it lol. He said he doesn't care when we get married or how as long as we do.

A PP mentioned people being late. My way around that was saying dinner is being served promptly at ___ (whatever time). We had a BBQ buffet catered. It was our one big splurge so that no one had to worry about cooking and cleaning. The vows were exchanged half an hour after the promised meal time to allow for the last few stragglers. I made sure there were heaps of nibbles so no one was hungry waiting for this meal that was expected at that time. Only 2 people missed it by being late. It might of been selfish of me but I figured I couldn't please everyone no matter what choice was made so DH and I did what suited us. It was our wedding after all