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  1. #1
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    Default I'm the ugly girl

    Hi. This is the first time i've posted in this area. I feel like i'm just whining about something stupid but i have to get this off my chest. I'd describe myself as being fairly unattractive even ugly to some point. I was picked on relentlessly at school especially by boys and the result for me was very low self esteem. As i got older and formed good friendships, met my husband and had a few kids my looks werent so important and i didn'tet it bother me.Anyway the other day my mother in law comes over and says she has been talking to her daughter (who visited us recently from nsw)Her daughter had some photos of me on her mobile phone and she went out with some of her friends.Apparently one of the guys said "ugh who is the butt ugly blonde on your phone?"Well my sister in law god bless her gave him a black eye and said "No one talks about my sister like that!" While i totally appreciate her standing up for me inthat situation i just wish she would of kept that conversation to herself or i wish my mother in law didnt have the urge to tell me. Its true when they say ignorance is bliss. I know i shouldnt give a **** about what people think but i just feel that an old wound has been reopened and i feel so withdrawn and depressed. Now when i think back to all those times when people have commented about my looks or said i looked nice were they just being polite? I feel really sad and i dont know how to move past the pain right now.

  2. #2
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    I'm so sorry you feel this way about yourself :-( obviously I don't know your MIL, but she'd have to be pretty simple if she thought telling you a story like that was a good idea!

    I wish I could help you feel good about yourself xxx

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    Oh my goodness, I can't believe your MIL would tell you that conversation!! At the end of the day, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Bet your husband and kids think you're beautiful!! What matters is that of the inside, not the outside, and what's the bet if you saw what these guys who said that about you looked like, you probably wouldn't think anything of their looks either. I bet they are nothing to look at... Sweety, please don't get yourself down about it, I myself got picked on for my big nose at school and my super thick glasses... people can be mean and downright nasty, and if they choose to pick on us for our looks and not get to know the real person inside, then it's their loss..

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    Your MIL probably thought that she was showing you how important you are to your SIL, shame she didn't think it through properly though before mentioning it to you.

    Your DH obviously finds you attractive and I have no doubt so do many others.

    Everyone, and I mean everyone, has something physical that is attractive. It may be your eyes, your smile, your hair, your figure, your hands, your legs etc - there is something you just need to be able to see it.

    I also believe wholeheartedly that when someone has a beautiful personality their physical beauty suddenly shines through. I remember the guy that was my first love, he is not considered physically attractive but when I found myself falling for his personality (and I fell hard) I suddenly realised he had gorgeous blue eyes, fantastic firm and toned thighs, a cute smile - he really did transform before my eyes.

    If you have not done so sit down with your DH and ask him what he finds attractive about you physically - and when he tells you believe him!!

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    I'm so sorry that people have teased you and hurt you because of how you look. I'm sure you really aren't the ugly girl you think you are. And I also think your mother in law should have kept that to herself. If it makes you feel any better, my sister in law still tells me all the time how incredibly attractive the girl before me who dated her brother (his ex) was and thin and perfect lol.. Just what I like to hear.

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9100 using Tapatalk

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    Is your MIL a passive-aggressive b!tch??!!

    Anyways, re: your topic - I'm no oil painting and what I always say - I'm a person, not a fricken' ornament!

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    I'm sorry you feel this way hun = (
    Like you said, your mil shouldn't have told you that. I think that's such a nasty thing to tell somebody.
    I hate that people are so critical of the way others look. I've never understood it.

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    that's not really a story of tell someone, I think it was very poor taste on MILs part. I'm sorry your upset. x

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    Firstly big hugs!
    I just want to remind that beauty is different to every single person. While you may not be able to look into a mirror and see it, all those people who surround you definitely see your beauty.

    I'm the type of person who needs someone to be beautiful on the inside to them as beautiful on the outside. And ask yourself this, those people who judge in face value alone - those shallow people - do you really care what they think? Because honestly you shouldn't, you're worth more than any meagre thought they can squeeze together!

  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by louellyn View Post
    Your MIL probably thought that she was showing you how important you are to your SIL, shame she didn't think it through properly though before mentioning it to you.

    Your DH obviously finds you attractive and I have no doubt so do many others.

    Everyone, and I mean everyone, has something physical that is attractive. It may be your eyes, your smile, your hair, your figure, your hands, your legs etc - there is something you just need to be able to see it.

    I also believe wholeheartedly that when someone has a beautiful personality their physical beauty suddenly shines through. I remember the guy that was my first love, he is not considered physically attractive but when I found myself falling for his personality (and I fell hard) I suddenly realised he had gorgeous blue eyes, fantastic firm and toned thighs, a cute smile - he really did transform before my eyes.

    If you have not done so sit down with your DH and ask him what he finds attractive about you physically - and when he tells you believe him!!
    Such a good reply louellyn

    Insomniac, I found your post so sad, and wish I could give you a hug and tell you how beautiful you are, because I'm sure you are, and I am certain your children think you are. I truly also believe that when someone has a beautiful personality their physical beauty shines through.

    I also go through stages where I find it hard to look in the mirror, but find if I surround myself with health, happiness and beauty I start to feel better about myself. Nurture yourself and try not to tell yourself you are the 'ugly' girl. Focus on your positive qualities such as 'I'm a mother', 'I'm a good friend' etc and I'm sure you'll naturally start feeling better about the way you look.

    Kids can be so cruel. Bullies will choose something about another child and 'tease' it out, even if it is not necessarily true. I remember I used to get teased about having a big butt. The thing is is that I don't have a big butt at all! I was so paranoid about it that I would constantly pull my t-shirt down over my hips and try and hide it so it became like my trademark. Everyone knew I thought I had a big butt, and would keep teasing me about it because they'd get a reaction and see me obsessively trying to hide it. It was a joke to everyone else, because at 55kg in year 12 and 174cm tall, there is no way I had a big butt! But to me, I thought it was true and I did have a big butt because that is what I constantly told myself and heard from others.

    If I look back on photos of myself, I find I look my best when I was happy and content with my life. I doesn't have anything to do with the clothes I was wearing, how my hair was done or what my weight was at the time (or whether you can see my so-called big butt or not lol).

    Sending you beautiful thoughts x


 

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