I hate that question too. After experiencing this I never again will ask if someone is having children/more children. As I have a career that I work hard at I also get comments around making a family more of a priority in my life rather than just work (if only they knew huh!).
I have to bite my tongue and stop saying what I really want to say.... Now I go with 'when the universe decides its time i guess' or 'when the cabbage patch i planted in the backyard finally grows me a little cabbage patch kid' Ppl laugh and seem to forget the question pretty quick lol.
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02-04-2012 17:38 #41
02-04-2012 18:08 #42
We saw a urologist who seemed confident that we wouldn't pass this onto a male child. We have no known injury or lifestyle factors for DH either. No one told us it was genetic for DH, they thought maybe things didn't develop fully when he was in utero.
Has anyone else in similar situation been told anything regarding if this has any risk of being passed onto a male child?
Has anyone been told of any other risks?
02-04-2012 19:51 #43
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03-04-2012 06:23 #44
Hi ladies. Explanation for my dh's mfi is unknown. But just out of curiosity, were any of your dh's preemie babies? Mine was, by quite a few weeks I believe and I often wonder if that has anything to do with it.
03-04-2012 07:14 #45
Ouch! I loathe the 'when are you having kids?' question. Last time I was at a wedding a guy I didn't know asked me the exact same question, telling me not to wait too long as my biological clock is ticking. I nearly burst into tears...
We haven't really been given a reason for DH's IF, but we do know he has a Cystic Fibrosis gene mutation, 1 (untreated) undescended testicle (could kill his mother for not following up on that one when he was little) & that he has a partial sertolli cell only problem. But out of interest, he was about 4 weeks premie.
How is everyone going today??? I'm having one of those 'Will it ever happen for us? Will we ever be parents?' days...
03-04-2012 07:53 #46
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03-04-2012 08:01 #47
My DF was not premie, in fact he was one month overdue!! However he was almost taken to the doctors as a kid over his testes not descending, but just before his mum was going to take him they finally did. My FS thought this may have contributed, but still seems to think his MFI is a mystery, as do her two colleagues at my clinic.
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03-04-2012 08:41 #48
Nicole my husband has mfi, he was 6 weeks premature. He also had Testicular Cancer, we don't know if he had mfi before he was sick. However his count was low a week before chemo as he was so sick. The chemo has caused mfi now
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03-04-2012 09:20 #49
We are 100% certain that DH MFI is directly related to his undescended testes, which was the main contributer to his testicular cancer.
Would have been nice is our old GP mentioned the known link... might have had a better chance catching it. We wont know if it was the cancer or the condition that destroyed his count, but I guess it doesn't matter now.
Regarding the dreaded baby question, I get to deal with something worse...
Because of my PCOS, I can become very bloated, to the point where I can look about 5 months pregnant! I have lost count of how many awkward and upsetting congratulations I've received. I even had one awful lady yell "OMG, you are pregnant" from across a crowded room at a work thing!
I was so mad, I just yelled back... "No, just fat, but thanks for that!"
03-04-2012 10:14 #50
We were given no explanation for DH MFI, just that they think it happened in utero. I don't think he was a preemie.
I read about the cystic fibrosis link to MFI and we almost went to see a gene specialist, but cancelled as by the time we could see him we would be mid stim cycle. We also thought unless it came back as very high risk or certain that we would still go ahead anyway. Our FS didn't think it was nessesary at all unless we had some serious conditions in the family which luckily we don't.
I was avoiding being social after EPU cause I had some tummy width increase and was worried about any comments. I can't imagine it swelling to look 5mths preggers that must be hard..
I had alot of pressure from the f... IL's with the question 'so when are you going to have a baby?' As if they have rights to interfere with my marriage like that, like its their business when we decide its time to start a family. I hate hate hate them for it..
Also comments like how often do we have sex? make sure you do it often, how long have we been trying? oh lets be pregnant together? oh aunty looks good with a baby, oh SIL will like you now she knows you've been trying.. oh ppl who can't have babies should just adopt, hinting that we should wait now cause FIL is sick, saying that if we can't make a baby with DH that we should just give up on a child that is at least mine as it wouldn't be fair (like thats their choice), then SIL glaring at me saying DH is a good guy, smart, and he needs to have babies glaring at me like she thinks she will make me do all of this like its her choice an she's some kind of expert about it..
Then to top it off neither of them were going to help much with FIL being sick untill I chucked a stink about it. SIL said oh I wish I could, I wish I had all my babies..
*excuse the rant, feels good to let it out somewhere*
Last edited by Dreamin; 03-04-2012 at 23:39.
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