While I understand the drive to protect oneself and our daughters and nieces and other young women, I don't think clothing choices is going to decrease their likelihood of being raped.
The vast majority of rape cases are not stranger rape. They are 'acquaintance rape' - the assailant is known to the victim. They are a date, a friend, a boyfriend, an ex, a workmate, a teacher, a coach, a family member, a friend of a family member (etc.). From memory, these form close to 80% of reported rape cases. The stranger rape - the grab them and rape them on the way home from a bar, the kidnappers and so forth - are comparatively rare. The rates for these are on par with general and random violent crimes against men. As such, modifying your behaviour or demanding a certain type of attire and so forth is unlikely to prevent an attack. All it does is restrict women, create misogynistic dialogue and imply that women are to blame if they are raped.
What is necessary isn't this constant - CONSTANT - talk about how we will teach our daughters to be safe. They aren't the problem. Yet rape discussions are always focussed on them. How about we start talking about our sons instead - how will will teach them that rape is NEVER okay.
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18-03-2012 00:55 #31
18-03-2012 01:13 #32-
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
I copletely agree we should be teaching our boys to respect women and not taking advantage of drunkness and all that. But that aside, I HATE having to look at girls and guys wearing hardly anything. I look at the cr@p that young girls are wearing these days and think "really??? Maybe next time dnt even bother putting pants on" Because some of these shorts are just denim underpants I SWEAR!
I dont want to see guys half naked because they think themselves hot. I dont want to see @rse when a girl bends over. I dont want to see boobage falling out the top.
Self respect, I believe isnt about how you dress. But like.... Try actually putting something on before leaving your house??? People can look sexy without looking like a 5 dollar hooker.
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18-03-2012 01:36 #33
I speak only of MY experience, past and present and seeing as though I only have daughters, I WILL talk about protective behaviours.
When/if I have sons, you can believe I will talk about respect for women. As will his dad. Before meeting my husband, I have never known Respect (yes, with a capital R) like what he gives me so I know that these conversations will happen with any sons we might have. They already DO happen between my husband and the boys he works with day in and day out. However, until the patriarchal, disrespectful, disempowering mentality of society as a whole changes, then I will absolutely teach my daughters about personal safety and in turn hope to empower them in a way that I never was.
I would also like to say at this point that it is just as important to teach our sons protective behaviours. They might not be abused quite as often as females, but it still happens and they should also be given the tools to protect themselves and/or speak up if needs be.
So yes, you're right. Talking about protective behaviours might not be ideal, but surely it's better than saying nothing at all like the generation before mine?
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18-03-2012 23:21 #34
I don't have any daughters and won't have any daughters...
But if a friend had a daughter and they were going to a party where there was going to be alcohol..... I'd make sure they went with my son!
Because I'm raising honourable, virtuous men... and he would make sure she was alright, regardless of if she was wearing a a trench-coat or a bikini.
18-03-2012 23:46 #35Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
This is exactly what we need to be doing.
My husband went to a party with a friend and one of their friends was going a female, and by the time he and his friend got there she was face down drunk in the backyard and some guys were eyeing her, he and his friend stood by her to make sure no one bothered her.
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