Sort of a rant/vent, but also curious to know whether other people have noticed things like this also.
Something I have noticed a lot, possibly due to my mother, aunts (both sides), uncle (paternal), MIL and other people's parents. Is that people born in the 50's tend to be extremely narcissistic, over-bearing and just un-happy with everything in their life in general.
My mother, has this attitude of, it's all about her, bad things happen to spite her (regardless of relative to her life or not), good things only happen to everyone else blah blah blah etc. (sorry, 28 yrs of being her emotional beating stick/support has got me not giving a rat's...)
My Aunt's are the same. (my uncle, mum's brother, was the complete opposite and took life by the horns and made it his... Wierd), also my dad's brother is like this also. When my Dad almost died in an accident 3 years ago, it was about him. None of my dad's children were kept informed, as he felt it was only him that had the right to know anything (happened in another state and we couldn't get flights for about a week) as it was HIS brother that was in ICU etc.
I can't stand it anymore. It drives me insane. I, of course, have been the main source of "pain" (for want of a better word) in my mother's life. Have been blamed for numerous things such as the break down of my parent's marriage, her financial situation, the state of her house (I haven't lived with her for over 10 years), my siblings having the same feelings as me but completely intolerant of her BS these days, where as I am STILL to this day, fighting for a normal mother/daughter relationship and for some recognition that I am worth her time, effort and love. (Why, I will never know)
Even her father is now blamed for "purposefully" making her life miserable (89 yr old with dementia, who she is "caring" for instead of putting him in a home, which I feel would be better for him than my slightly "mentally unstable" mother).
Does anyone else feel like this? Are 50's children SO hard done by and therefore narcissistic or is it just the ones I know?
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13-03-2012 07:36 #1
Did the 50's create a generation of narcissists?
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13-03-2012 07:49 #2
Yep, they complain about Gen Y but need to take a good hard look in the mirror.
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13-03-2012 08:01 #3
13-03-2012 08:25 #4Senior Member
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- Oct 2011
I think it's just the people you know because I feel that way about the peoe in thier 20s always the victim but it's prob just the people I am bumping into
13-03-2012 08:30 #5
YES! My mum is ok, but most other BB'er are pretty bad.
13-03-2012 08:46 #6
13-03-2012 08:50 #7
My Mum was born in 59 and is fine. She's probably one of hte most unselfish people I know.
Mostly, I find the people I know born the 50s are more "know-it-alls," than narcissists. FIL and my own father know everything.
13-03-2012 09:23 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
I'd say its just the family in that age group you know, rather than all people born in the fifties. My mum is the most grounded and humble, hard working, kind and loving woman. And through the absolute ****tiest times, including her grown son going in and out of psychiatric wards and ongoing drug use, him going missing, being arrested and now being a zombie sitting at home on a disability pension, maybe never to "return".. I have never once heard her say "why me?" and tbh I think its more the people from my generation who are always going fml, I'm over this, life isn't meant to be this hard etc. And blaming everyone but themselves. But then that's a generalisation about people born in the 80s lol.. And I'm fairly awesome Some people I know from my mums generation are self absorbed. My dads no picture of compassion and kindness! He is outraged that he can't "afford to retire".. In his fifties.. Hard to break it to him that usually people who retire young worked very hard, rather than ****ing around all of their life and spending all their money on cigarettes and equipment for their non existant music studio!! But I would say that is because my grandma was abusive and is actually a narcissist. And she was born in the 30s. She actually leaves voicemails on my phone asking me why I don't love her anymore if I miss one phone call lol
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13-03-2012 09:38 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
My Mum and Dad are definitely this. My sister and bro put up with them because they get given things on a platter but the reverse side to this is then things are expected of them and guilt trips are laid if those expectations are not met and life isn't all about my parents. I, on the other hand, can't stand that sort of childish, narcissistic behaviour nor do I expect life to be handed to me so I no longer have contact with my parents. My IL's though, born around the same years as my parents, are completely different and not that way at all. Go figure!
I agree about some people in their 20's, though I don't like to generalise so can only talk from my experience, but my sister and brother are both very self absorbed and don't like to actually work for anything. Then again my BIL is my age and though he does work hard he also likes to get life handed to him too. My DH is not quite 30 though himself and doesn't act like this. I think because his parents did expect him to be somewhat independent though that is the key. They spoiled him sometimes but he knew in every day life he had to work for a living, not just expect his parents to keep him in a style to which he was accustomed. Plus I'm a bit of a task master
ETA: OP you need to give up on wanting a "normal" mother/daughter relationship. It will NEVER happen. Either accept your mother for who she is and go on taking the abuse or free yourself from the toxicity. IMO your own personal worth should not be vested in someone who can't see past the nose on their face and emotionally abuses you in such a way. I honestly don't understand why people put up with self centred, abusive ***-hats like these any more. Not since freeing myself anyway, and I'm sorry but them being family means they should treat you better if anything.
Last edited by HOMS; 13-03-2012 at 09:42.
13-03-2012 09:41 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
i don't know about a whole generation but my mum is soooo hard done by
my friends are mostly gen x or y and i find most of them the opposite. mostly pretty happy with their lives.
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