Pushy midwives.... how to say no!!

[spitthedummy]

With my first ds I had the gas, then the pethadine and ended with an epidural, the gas was great to start with, the pethadine did absolutely nothing but make me feel crappy and slow things down, and the epi was a godsend. With my second dd I had the gas and after hours and hours asked for the epi as the pethadine did nothing for me, I was told by the midwife that I *HAD* to have the pethadine before trying the epi and they wouldn't. Give me one until I tried the pethadine, so I had it and It had no effect as I suspected, I said to the midwife that I wanted the epi now and she says "didn't you read the story on the weekend about the lady so had an epi and now can't walk " wtf.... after several HOURS of me begging for it and her telling me I had to wait for the peth to kick in, I finally got it. Im so worried that I'll have the same problem this time how do I stand my ground ??? Sorry for any bad spelling im on my phone

[Mummy2MissA]

Just don't have the same midwife.. Sorry not that good advice.

[Babymay]

Maybe you could write up a birth plan? If your requests are documented surely they're more likely to follow them? Especially if you've had a less than nice experience with pethadine in the past - include that too perhaps?

[spitthedummy]

I had a birth plan with my first two aswell, but they didn't really look at it, im going to a different hospital this time so won't have the same midwife, I just really gate the idea of being pushed to have pethadine again

[Turk EnJayDee]

Do you have a support person coming with you? If you do, I think the best thing is to get them to advocate for you. Then when you ask for an epi and if they refuse, get your person to stand up and tell them off.

It i your choice and right to have it. No midwife has the right to tell you no and you definately don't need to have pethidine first. It isn't even a pain killer. It is a sedative that helps you chill out between contractions.

I hope they are better this time around and don't mess up what should be YOUR moment.

[Ready4aBelly]

Just say when you have had Pethidine in the past you have vomited uncontrollably and they should not give it to you.

[Artful]

Is that normal?? That sounds appalling to me that you are told you can't have the epi by itself without the pethidine, especially since they are so diffemt!! I am open to gas and epi but I really really don't want pethidine.

Sorry I can't give you any advice as this is my first baby myself. All I can suggest is to ask your OB or gp before give birth whether it is required so you can stand your ground with back up behind you. I am going to ask now having read your story!

[~Marigold~]

Wtf? Just read your post with my mouth agape, how can they do that?
I was just saying how I don't want to use Pethidine again as it was horrible for me the last time, but I'm partial to the Epidural as it was, like you said, an absolute god send!
Wow, what a b!tch for her to make that remark "didn't you hear about the woman who had one and now can't walk?" grrr.. I would have reported her, she has no right making you second guess your decision. As long as you are aware of the risks, she needed to shut her mouth and do her job.
I will be checking with my OB at my next appointment about this.. that's got me concerned now. You shouldn't be made to "try" every drug they have on offer, especially when you already know what works for you.

[spitthedummy]

Thanks ladies, I will have someone with me but I Dont think they'd be confident enough to stand up for me, hopefully I get a better midwifes this time round, and no I don't think it is normal, I have had two EXTREMELY long labors so that's another reason for not wanting it, things for me go slow enough as it is without pethadine to slow it down more!

[ES2010]

Sounds like you just had a VERY nasty midwife. You don't have to have pethadine first before having an epi...that's bulls**t!!