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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2012

    Default No sex after loss

    Almost 6 months ago my baby was born at 22 weeks after a medically necessary termination. My DH and I have only had sex a handful of times after the birth- and only once in the last 3 months. At first it was because it hurt too much but then that got better. Now it just feels emotional- like the grief is too much or that sex is now connected with conception and I don't know if I'm ready to TTC (even though I desperately want a child). It seems to compound the grief as I feel like this is now another thing I've lost and something else to deal with.
    I know deep down in my heart that I will be pregnant again one day but it is hard to feel that hope when I'm not even having sex!
    I just want to know that I'm not alone and how other people dealt with this after loss....

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Firstly huge hugs to you
    I know how devastating it is to lose your little angel. I had a missed miscarriage at just shy of 12 weeks just over a week ago and it's simply devastating.

    I guess I just wanted to stop in and say that what you are feeling is completely normal. Actually, anything that you may be feeling is completely normal. You lost a child and there are no rules when it comes to that. I've gone the other way where I really want nothing more than to get pregnant again but I've heard of many women who went off sex and although they wanted to fall pregnant again, they just couldn't bring themselves to do the act. DH and I dtd once since my D & C and I felt incredibly guilty afterwards as did he but this is normal too. There is no right or wrong in a case like this. Maybe try to disconnect the connection of sex = conception. Do the act in love rather than the thought of this could result in a pregnancy. That's about all I can suggest really ...

    Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to go through the process as you need to .. the pain will ease. It may never go away but it will never be as intense again as it is right now.

    to you xoxo


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