Hi! we're a same sex couple and will be TTC. I'll almost certainly need IVF but I'm really keen to try at-home-insemination first. I've got a bunch of questions, but if you've got advice or info I might not have thought of, I'd love to hear that too! Thank you! So, does the donor need to have any tests (apart from STIs) done? What's the time limit between donation and insemination? What paperwork needs to be done to clarify him as a donor? And lastly, can anyone recommend any books that cover at-home-insemination?
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06-03-2012 21:14 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
Please help me with my at-home-insemination questions?
Last edited by CardiganDoves; 24-08-2012 at 18:35.
16-03-2012 15:27 #2
Sperm count test would be a good test to order.
I think 3 months is a being-extra-careful screening period for HIV? But I'd research that more. Ask a GP! And make sure you trust your donor (of course!)
You don't need any paperwork; as he is a donor he is legally NOT the father. But I would get an agreement in writing anyway re what your expectations are.
Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler
The Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth by Toevs & Brill
16-03-2012 15:59 #3
I second the recommendation of the Toevs and Brill book. It's really comprehensive.
Unless you conceive the traditional way, the donor isn't considered the father legally, only biologically but it's still a good idea to draw up a 'contract' of sorts stipulating everyone's expectations so there are no surprises along the way! The Toevs and Brill book has sample contracts in them to use as a guide.
In terms of testing for STI's, there's usually an initial test, then another test 6 months later, even if the initial one is clear. That is because some STIs take longer to show up on a test (e.g. HIV). I'd also get a general semen analysis done looking into sperm motility and count and morphology.
As for how it's done - there's a really comprehensive guide to at-home insem in the same sex parenting section, I think it's a sticky so it'll be up the top of the page. Really great methodology.
What state are you in? Only some states allow both parents on the birth certificate, some states only have room for 'mother' and 'father'.
21-03-2012 09:58 #4pisces00
- Join Date
- Sep 2006
My hubby donates sperm and we too have a contract outlining all the points we have all decided upon before donating goes through. With each donation my hubby gets a complete set of blood tests done which we provide to the couple. It is also important to him that the couple be committed and 'non man haters' ( his words not mine) and that any contact is up to them. He only wants a phonecall on the day of birth , a baby photo and a photo of child at 1yrs old. Luckily we have the privelege of seeing his kids once or so a year and we have a relaxed repectful relationship with the mothers who are amazing.
We require the couple to know thier ovulation dates so to give us 4 days notice so we dont have sex prior and to provide new and clean specimen jars and syringes. If they cant get thier act together ( and some are so lazy and unorganised its not funny)or if they smoke and drink whilst trying to concieve he wont donate.
hope this helps.
22-03-2012 14:50 #5Junior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
Uh, I'm in NSW, in terms of legislation. Which I'm certainly grateful for. Thanks for the book recommendations, too!
Anyway, off to order the books then find the same-sex parenting section off the forum (unless you mean this section on the forum? I'll soon find out )
Last edited by CardiganDoves; 01-05-2012 at 12:29.
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