Has anyone ever lived with a grandfather or grandmother while pregnant and later on with a newborn?
Hubby and I are in a lot of financial stress which is why we need to move in with a family member, we need to save up and get back on our feet for our baby.
I suppose its better to live with him than my in laws... I'ld still love to hear stories from other people that may have gone through something similar.
Grandad is probably in his 80's. He has a big 5 bedroom house, lives on his own, constantly complains about being lonely (which is why us moving there would be good for him).
I have never lived with an senior/older man, not sure if I'ld be disturbing his routine, if I should be cooking my own meals and he should cook his own, if I should be cleaning the entire house or if that would be rude? I would love to help him out as a way to say thank you but some old people are very fixed on their ways and sometimes find "help" to be insulting.
btw I barely know him. I only see him for big family events and there's usually so many family members its not like I sit and just talk to him.. so to me this is basically living with a stranger.. a very nice stranger btw, but still someone I don't know very well.
oh well.. living with hubbies grandad is a lot better than facing the amount of financial stress we are in. Of course the ideal situation would be for us to live on our own but thats something we have to work on in order to make it come true..
anyways, any stories about living with family members (your hubbie/partners family members), what your experience was like, what can make things improve, etc would be greatly appreciated
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05-03-2012 16:11 #1Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
living with husbands grandfather..
05-03-2012 16:22 #2
Yes, only over a summer period but yes, we have.
You learn to deal with their habits. GFIL would make breakfast between 7-8, sit down read the paper, go out bank or whatever, come back make dinner and put in the fridge and then make lunch, sit down read the paper again, fall asleep in front of the tv, eat dinner and watch tv again.
Trouble with GFIL is that he is on the downward slope to dementia which made anything outside his routine difficult. If he needed to go to a doctors appointment and DP was in the shower he would (silently) complain and throw things about.
You just learn to deal. FIL on the otherhand was a complete A%^*^^&^.. but don't get me started on that
05-03-2012 17:52 #3
My grandparents are moving in with us but that's cause they need a career.
We've talked about who will do what & come up with an agreement.
Best bit of advice I can give you is, make sure he has some where they he can hide from the world if need be. And you may find yourself doing a lot of the cooking & cleaning simply cause they see someone else there & realize they need help & aren't as young as they used to be.
08-03-2012 14:44 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
I think a lot of your questions will be answered by having a very open conversation with him before you start making arrangements, to make sure you're on the same page and have similar expectations.
I've never lived with an elderly relative but when we stay with DH's aunt she generally sticks to her own routine while we're there. She doesn't let us help around the house (because we're guests - you probably won't have that problem) so instead we find other ways to help and contribute. DH usually does a lot of work in the garden for her, we might buy her a household item she needs (often to do with the TV because she isn't sure what she needs), etc. Good luck, I hope it works out ok and helps you get where you need to be.
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