For him to go on and on about her 'belittling' him as though SHE is the one with the issues looks a lot to me like 'gaslighting' (as in provoking someone, they retaliate, then trying to convince the other person that *they* are the problem).
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05-03-2012 15:51 #11Senior Member
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05-03-2012 18:51 #12
But what if he's not provoking so that he gets a retaliation? What if he lets his anger get out of control, bullies and intimidates her because he thinks he's right and wants her to think it too then when she is backed into a corner enough she attacks back?
Is it only domestic violence/abuse if the victim doesn't retaliate? Or does retaliation negate the abuse altogether (cancel it out)?
05-03-2012 19:06 #13
I haven't read the replies, but I don't think two wrongs will ever make a right.
I cannot control the behaviour of others, but I can control how I react to it. And at the end of the day, I answer to me alone, so I want my response to be one I am happy with.
Often people equate my lack of desire to 'fight back' as me letting people walk all over me. I don't. I allow them to be the person they want to be, and I channel my energy and effort into being a person I am happy to be.
05-03-2012 19:27 #14
The entire situation screams domestic violence and although she says she wants him to hit her in order to justify her feelings and then mean she is able to end it and leave, from reading between the lines, IMO, I think she's petrified to leave as she probably fears his reaction will then get physical.
Whoever she is, I think she needs to leave, get moral support from friends and family as well as physical support and protection from this "man" (I use the term loosely as he sounds like a pig!) and seek help and refuge.
She says she doesnt want to leave him but I cant see why she would want to stay-the guy doesn't have any great qualities at all. I think she's too afraid to leave.
I really feel for her and anyone else in this situation.
I think the guy deserves more than just a little retaliation but I'll keep those thoughts quiet.
•Sent from my iPhone•
05-03-2012 19:32 #15
Actually, I retract my statement about likening him to pigs...that just offensive to pigs!
From what I've read, the guy is a down right c u next Tuesday and doesn't deserve a woman's love when this is how he treats her!
•Sent from my iPhone•
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