Wants to know how everyone else's partners handled being a dad for the first time. Did they help? Were they still thinking of themselves? Did they understand you're needs?
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04-03-2012 19:55 #1
04-03-2012 20:04 #2
DH was ah-ma-zing for the first 3-6 weeks. Then he got very selfish and when I was suffering from PND and serious sleep deprivation he was very unsupportive. But we recently had marriage counselling and so far, fingers crossed, things are much better.
But he has always been very good with DS.
04-03-2012 20:11 #3
My husband has been wonderful truely wonderful. All through my pregnancy and labour he was so supportive and helpful. He is great with nappy changing, getting up in the night, supportive of breast feeding, he is so playful and affectionate to ds and me. Ds is now 11 months and he encourages me to go and have me time and they have great find together. Im a very lucky girl.
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04-03-2012 20:17 #4
DH was (and is!) amazing with DD. He was very comfortable with babies, more comfortable than I was, so when she was first born he was great at changing nappies, picking her up and try to settle, cuddles etc. Now, he's great at settling her when she wakes up, and they have daddy-daughter time when she wakes up in the morning to give me a bit of a sleep in after being up during the night.
Sure, DH still thinks of himself sometimes (i.e. I'm going to play my game), but he plays with her first or at the same time. I've made it clear that when he gets home from work she's his first priority and he's fine with that - he's completely in love with her.
As for my needs, generally he's pretty good at it. He'll give me time to have a sleep in (and nap!) and encourage me to go out with my friends while he watches DD.
04-03-2012 20:34 #5
the first time, no.....
it was all a bit too scary. he was scared to hold the baby, didn't understand what to do and to be perfectly honest it wasn't until our son was a toddler that my hubby felt he could engage with him fully. but then he began looking after him on the weekends so i could work and his confidence skyrocketed.
now, 9 years later we have a baby girl and he is a different dad. he is confident now and a lot more hands on (still terrified to bathe her though!! too slippery....) and looks after her one afternoon a week so i can work.
it's such a big adjustment for the guys - and they haven't had the 9 months bonding with baby in your tummy, babies tend to just want their mommies, they are at work and not around 24/7......and lets face it. babies ARE scary.....there is so much mommy support out there (playgroup, bf assoc, bub hub) but very little for men. and they tend to not talk to their mates about these issues.
05-03-2012 10:29 #6
DH was and still is amazing. He helps with absolutely everything and gives me a break when I need it, he was also amazing during the birth, the best support person ever. He has a very relaxed nature which helps a lot because I suffer from stress and anxiety.
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