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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Kisses 86 View Post
    I'm not sure if anyone else has the same thoughts, but I find it rude when people bring up their special events that are coming up at someone elses special event. As if to outshine the current special occasion.

    When my DH and I were engaged, we made a point, even if people asked us, we never discussed what the plans were for our wedding at our firends/families weddings/events, or handed out invites/details about our wedding. We never wanted to try and take the lime light away from the people that the gathering was for.

    Sorry its a long post, but wanted to explain my train of thought.

    So today at a family event which was a big surprise birthday celebration, SIL-to-be handed everyone wedding invites just after we arrived with MIL who was the birthday person.

    When she handed the invite to me for DH and I, I said that they should have waited to hand them out, and she responded with, oh it doesn't matter.

    The invites all had address labels and things, so why they couldn't have been posted, or handed to the people individually I'm not sure... Even waiting till the end of the lunch would have been better. FIL thought it was tastless too...

    So am I overreacting? Has anyone ever felt the same and how did you deal with it?
    I agree.. MIL announced I was pg at her own daughters wedding which I thought was completely inappropriate and disgusting.

    That and I felt it wasn't her news to share .. :-( I wasn't even 12 weeks and wanted to wait a while after a previous m/c.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think it's rude...

    I'm a hairdresser and one weekend I was doing hair for a bridal party and the bride. The bride was a client of mine and she had been going through IVF for almost 2 years, they decided to put it on hold and get married ect.

    Once the bride had her dress on make up done, and hair done every one was saying how lovely she was ect and her mother was crying.
    then the Sister (also the MOH) decides to announce that she was 14 weeks pregnant!!! The bride just looked shocked.. All the attention shifted to the sister and it was just awkward.

    At my wedding one of hubby's friend was invited, about 2 months before the wedding he got into a relationship.
    I had been wondering if he would bring her along (no problems if I did, I just wanted to know for numbers sake) I had asked him about a month before the wedding of he was bring his +1 and he said no.

    Any way on the day he brought her along, I was a little annoyed that he didn't let us know just out of respect, but it was 1 extra person so i let it slide.

    When photo time came along he and his new girlfriend went off with the photographer and got all these photos done! Every one was saying how cute they were.. It really got to me! The photos were full on couple shots!!!
    There is about the same amount of photos of us as there is of them...

    I was furious at the photographer and DHs friend.

    The girlfriend then had the audacity to call me a few months after and ask if I could send her all the photos of them.. I said only if she paid for prints ect an she said "can't it just be your gift to us for attending your wedding"...

    I really don't understand some people...

  3. #23
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I must be a major odd one out. I think it's an overreaction to worry about things like this. A special event is a gathering for a large group of people to get together. They are often family. It's a compltely appropriate place to discuss something as a new engagement or whatever.

    I wouldn't do it because I have nothing to announce lol, but if I was holding an event and somebody else had some really special and exciting news I can honestly say I'd be nothing short of over the moon for them. I'm not big on attention, I don't see gatherings as the whole "my day" thing.
    I'm kinda with you here Benji. This sort of stuff just doesn't really bother me. I'm happy to hear anyone's good news anytime. I don't think it takes away from the current event at all.

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  5. #24
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Wow, people get really precious about their events.

    I handed out birthday invites at a birthday party and a 21st. I checked a few days before with the host, they thought it was silly I had to ask.

    I'm really rude I guess.

    Your SIL was probably very excited, good news and plans adds to a good event, it doesn't take away. Other than the bride having IVF thing, I don't find any of the examples rude.

  6. #25
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    I agree BlissedOut, the IVF one was really insensitive but I think that would be the case whether there was a wedding or no wedding.

    I also don't find any of the examples rude but I don't buy into the whole princess/my day/look at me/nobody else can have a life thing when it comes to these events.

    Honestly, somebody else being happy will not take anything away from your marriage or your love for your husband, nor will it mean it's no longer your birthday, nor will it cause you any disadvantage unless you let it.

  7. #26
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Yeah what blissed out and benji said. Wouldn't bother me. No day 'belongs' to anyone. I think it's selfish and childish to expect a whole day to be about you, whether birthday, wedding, whatever. Other people's lives don't stop just because it's 'your day'

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