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  1. #1
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    Default Another vent! Feeling like a bad mum

    I have just left our appointment at the local child health nurse for my DD's 18 month check up.
    I feel like I'm a useless mother, the nurse Said that my daughter should at least be saying 50 words by now, 50!! Seriously is this normal? Is there really 18 month olds out there saying 50 words??
    My DD says maybe 8 words over and over and over....
    The nurse then went on to say it must be because of too much tv. She doesn't watch that much tv a little bit in the mornings like maybe 20-30mins while I'm cleaning the breakfast dishes and getting dressed.
    I also mentioned to her about how I don't leave my dd with anyone apart from my husband and sometimes my mum but not often I explained that I had been having some issues with my anxiety, all she said was "well how are you going to fix that?" I said I was working on it but she offered no advice what so ever just made me feel completely stupid for feeling anxious at all.
    I don't even know why I bothered to go she hardly talked about anything listed in the book you get (the one were it has all your child's health records and such it's a purple folder here in wa you get in hospital) and she offered me no advice about any questions I asked her.

    Vent over...

  2. #2
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    I don't get people who work in a industry they are clearly not happy in. Ring and complain and ask for another appt. I had a really bad 28 week midwife appt and I complained. They need to know. If you say your anxiety is bad how about offering some ideas on support services etc. it's not good enough !!!

  3. #3
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    You are so NOT a bad Mum! It's the MCHN who's the bad one here...

    Firstly, 50 words for an 18 month old? Is she for real?! My DS is nearly 17 month old and he can only say about 15 words max... and I think that's pretty good! I don't know any 18 month olds who could say anywhere near 50 words.

    And on the TV thing, my MCHN had a go at me at the 12 month check for letting DS watch TV too. I'm similar to you, I only let him watch 20-30 minutes per day (usually during late afternoon when I'm madly trying to clean up the house a bit and get dinner ready). I don't see a problem with it... not like you've got it on all day.

    As for what she said about your anxiety, that's just really cruel and totally uncalled for. Don't let her comments bring you down, sounds like she's a stupid ol cow!

  4. #4
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    You definitely don't sound like a bad mother to me!

    My DS is 2.5 and he'd only just be hitting the 50 word mark recently.

    Please don't let it get you down. I learnt the hard way with DS1 about not listening to child health nurses.

    At DS2s four week check my CHN casually mentioned randomly that as he was slightly pulling his head to the side that it could be a tumour. A tumour! What sort of thing is that to mention in passing to a mother of a newborn. I'm glad i knew better not to pay too much attention to her.

    Take your DD to the GP for a 2nd check if it will make you feel better.

    Hugs

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    Yeah, I think I've only ever known one or two 18 month olds who knew 50 words, and I worked in a childcare centre for 3.5 years.
    I reckon she's got her ages mixed up.

  6. #6
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    I just checked the blue book we have here in Victoria and for the 18 month developmental review checklist it says 'Uses 5-10 words' as well as 'Understands many more words'...

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    Bubbles10  (29-02-2012)

  8. #7
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    Developmental guides are just guides. It can indicate a problem, but your health nurse was carrying on like a nutter.

    I went down the whole assessment path with my son, at a little before two as he was only saying a couple of words.

    I had him assessed with a delay at about 23 months, had his hearing checked (perfect) and had fortnightly speech therapy for 12 months. At 3, he was reassessed and was fine. He's almost 3.5 and his speech is constantly improving.

    The speech therapist said that some kids will naturally catch up and some will have an actual delay, but you can't always tell which, so I erred on the side of caution. Given I didn't speak properly until 3 and we were slack with the speech therapy exercises, I'd say my son was just a late talker.

    Given she is already saying 8 words at 18 months, it seems early for an assessment. I would reassess at 2.

    But you can do stuff in the meantime. Pretend play is really good - like pretend to have a tea party or go grocery shopping etc, where you use lots of words and interactions.

    Give your daughter instructions, teach her to at least understand and point to all the body parts, simulate conversation by taking turns. The stuff the speech therapist was reasonably straightforward. There's probably a book or a web site with some good hints.

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    Honestly I think some MCHN need to get off their high horse and stop being so careless. 1st I'd change nurses I did and even though she's alot nicer I don't listen to a word she says lol! Your a fantastic mother I'm sure bugger what this woman says I can assure you my child didn't talk that much at all at 18 months my DS is now 3 and does not stop talking ALL DAY :P

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    Don't worry too much. My daughter didn't have 50 words until at least 3!

    My son is 19 months and knows a lot of words, but I think 50 is too many for a child that age to say. They might understand 50 words, but to say them

    My son says banana (nana), milk, water, bath, Tash, mum, dad, nanna, poppy, back (for outside), car, bike, shoes, hat, bar (rafferty's muesli bar), pram, dummy, wrap (security blanket), please, ta and a few more.

  11. #10
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    I never bought into that '50 words by 18 months'. I think its a load of old rubbish. Having worked with many children round this age, I can tell you now, the average amount of words they knew was probably about 14.

    I have never met a child that knew round the 50 mark by the times they were 18 months.


 

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