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29-02-2012 17:20 #11
29-02-2012 17:25 #12
I've read some of it, I hated it and I won't be trying anything.
I was in France a few years ago and my parents just got back, and we have both commented on how "well behaved" the children were in restaurants.
This is not some magic secret - just that the children are subjected to a large amount of discipline in order to conform to some antiquated idea that children should behave like adults.
Rather than train a 3 yr old to be passive in a restaurant they should be questioning an ideology that encourages such small children to have the same reasoning, concentration and thought processes as someone who is fully grown.
29-02-2012 17:46 #13
Someone seems a little jealous of the French
29-02-2012 18:09 #14
29-02-2012 18:11 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Can someone actually tell me what she suggests the secret is, since I will likely never buy or read it lol.. I am meant to be studying right now but this is too interesting. I have never been to France so I have no idea what their children or their parenting is like. I am a fairly firm type of parent, but not one for expecting kids to sit quietly for ages in a restaurant either since I expect its fairly boring for them.. But I do wish I could enjoy at least one cup of coffee without getting nagged to death!
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29-02-2012 18:13 #16
I love the French, especially Manu
I would love to live in France! The culture is amazing. I'm heading over in May so I'll keep my eyes peeled for screaming children throwing their croissants
All French people aren't like this author. She is stereotyping the entire country and belittling others.
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29-02-2012 18:32 #17
Ah Manu, how I would like to do things to Manu.
Children in restaurants weren't really on my radar when I was in France 9 years ago, I mainly noticed the dogs
I find it hard to believe that french kids don't throw tantrums in supermarkets or restaurants and training them out of it seems a bit harsh. I prefer to know what my DD's limitations are, don't expect her to sit there and listen to adults talk rubbish for hours after the meal, be prepared to take her out for a walk between courses and take some quiet activities like drawing and even games on my phone.
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01-03-2012 11:09 #18
Wow I didn't realise that people would feel so strongly about this book - I personally took it for what it is - one mothers observations on parenting whilst spending a significant time living in France. It certainly is not claiming to be a parenting book but reads more like a narrative of someones personal experiences. The author doesn't claim to be Dr Sears, Dr Spock or any other child rearing 'guru' nor that her work is in any way empirically research based - although she does at times draw on the research of others.
I feel like I should let others know what I enjoyed - being a new parent of a lovely 7 week old boy I was interested when hearing about the French approach to sleep - this was initially my main reason for reading.
In a nutshell things I took from it are:
- the pause - observing my DS in the night when I "think" he is waking to ensure that he is (I found I was actually waking him up and after further investigation I was disrupting his sleep cycles - now I am reading/observing his noises, grunts etc to ensure I'm not waking him up unnecessarily becaue I think he is starting to wake for a feed, he is now sleeping 5-6 hours at a time and we are all well rested - this may be obvious to some but was not to me and nobody had shared this information with me either)
- the notion of children being able to have self control within their developmental stage - 'being sage' - it is not at all about children not making a 'peep' at a restaurant but educating children to behave appropriately in different situations - similar to what children are taught at primary school here - 'different rules for different places'
- allowing children to value their own company and to be able to play without being interrupted by an adult
I certainly wouldn't claim that the book was any sort of a parenting manual rather an entertaining read about one mother of 3's (a girl and twin boys) observations and experiences of bringing up children in a country different to her own.
Anyway different strokes for different folks
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01-03-2012 11:20 #19
01-03-2012 11:34 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
Mais, non. Let's not talk about thees absurd leetle book, a load o' bollocks
Let us, instead, talk about doing zings to Manu!
Oh la la. (in dodgy French accent)
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