Oh yeah I hated this.. All my friends babies were easy and both of mine were awful. SS started sleep all night at 14 months 1 month before dd was born. She took even longer to sleep through (about 2 years) both waking at least 3 times a night. Between kids I was working full time and ds would scream for hours after getting home..
I cut a friend out because she had turned to a few other friends saying that I didn't know what I was doing cause having 2 babies was so easy and I had to be doing something wrong.. Goodbye to that one..
Every baby is different and we as mothers need to be supportive and not put anyone down.
Love and support your friends don't bag them out
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29-02-2012 07:17 #41Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
29-02-2012 07:18 #42
I have posted in here about my DD being extremely difficult at the best of times, but that comment was beyond nasty. Especially in the fact that it's not your child.
29-02-2012 07:45 #43Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
I don't think such a thing as an 'easy' baby. However I do think it helps to look on the bright side. I'm sure that those ladies babies are not easy in all respects, however they are focussing on the positives of what their babies do do well.
I had a very colicy hard to feed baby, however whilst I might mention it to my friends (for advice,) I would not focus on it. I would focus on the fact that between feeds she was a happy baby who loved interacting with people.
Focussing on the positive aspects definatly helped me to feel better about my baby instead of focussing on the hard parts.
They grow out of being 'difficult' and then they decide on something else to test you.I think it's just babies, thats what they do.
29-02-2012 07:54 #44
i know the time will pass.. but i just had to get my feelings out or i would explode... didnt realise people wouldnt like it! oh well...
29-02-2012 08:19 #45
29-02-2012 08:49 #46
No baby is ever easy, my DD self-settled from 4 months, took to solids like a champ and was fiercely independent. My DS has only just started self-settling at 1, he still prefers breastfeeding over solids, and is so clingy.
I thought DD was hard work but before I had DS I had no idea! Yesterday we went to the park with friends and I was so happy that DS had 2 spurts of playing with the other children without me, both were less then 10 minutes. If DD had only played for 2 short spurts without me when she was DSs age I would have been so upset.
I tend to only talk about the positives with DS except to a small group of friends who I really trust, and my mum. I'm sick of talking about his crap sleep and constant feeding to people who don't understand why I don't just CIO or schedule his feeding or wean him. So yup I brag about his walking or post lots of pictures.
It's hard work being the one with the 'bad' baby but sometimes people with easy babies just don't understand how hard it is. Your friend probably is tired after waking at 3am, especially if she's not use to it.
Have you spoken to your friends about how this all makes you feel?
29-02-2012 09:08 #47Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I think sometimes parents forget that their baby has only been on this Earth for such a short time - we still have a LONG way to go when it comes to parenting. There's still childhood, pre-teen, teen, young adult. We haven't failed nor succeeded yet - it's not over!
All babies are different, comparisons don't help and I think your friends are being really insensitive if they are bragging and know you're struggling
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29-02-2012 10:07 #48Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
Same crap happened to me! Maybe, just maybe, they will have really horrible monster toddlers and you will have an angel. I think it's better to run thru the hard yards when they are tiny because u sort of buld up skills to cope in stressfull situations later on when bubs is older. I hope you can get thru this hard bit and dont be affraid to admit you have a difficult bub's, there is nothing wrong with that, it's normal. Remember that alot of parents wear a "parenting mask" and "forget" to talk about the bad bits.
Your friends may be struggling, but not admitting it to either themselves or anyone else - that's a problem!
Goodluck it will all be worth it, hang in there
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29-02-2012 10:14 #49
I don't think it's about not admitting it, maybe they are sick of talking about it. I talk about my son's sleep every single time I talk to my mum because she understands what I'm going through, I'm not going to bring it up at Playgroup because I'm sick of talking about it and want to talk about something else. So to others it might seem like I have a good sleeper because I might say "I feel like we got so much done this morning" or "what a feeling DS let me sleep in until 6.30 this morning!" what I'm not saying is "he's cutting 3 teeth and woke me up every 3 hours taking an hour to resettle, my husband is away with the army so I have no help so when he woke the toddler at 2am while he was screaming in pain boy did I have a juggling act on my hands, gosh did I need that extra hour in bed this morning otherwise i would be sleeping under the table instead of participating in this craft project, pass the coffee please before I slip into a exhaustion-induced coma."
29-02-2012 10:30 #50
I completly agree that we tend to put on a ''parenting mask'' at time and that ppl with good bubs tend to discuss the good parts more , even though they occasionally have bad moments that they rather not discuss. I also tend to talk about all the good things with the general family and friends..its only close family and few friends who i talk to about the difficult moments..
i guess we all are thankful for the good momets and want to tell everyone about them ..like last week DD slept for 5hrs straight (shes 6m) for 3 nights in a row...i was SOOO happy ! and than i went and told everyone and jinxed myself ..we were back to 1hrly waking on night 4 ..
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