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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Oh and to add on to my other post, for 5 days every fortnight, DD refuses to have anything to do with me. Will scream until she's blue in the face, will not let me go near her let alone pick her up, hug her, feed her, bath her or anything. Granted it is when DP is home from his FIFO job, but it's still hard when you are the only one keeping them alive for 9 days every fortnight and do as much fun stuff on those days as possible to keep her happy/entertained.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Wow what a nasty thread! I can't believe people are implying you would lie about if your baby sleeps or is content!

    Mine is a great sleeper now but we have had our rough patches. People love to bring you down, with the comments about getting it next time with a 'hard' baby. What a lovely, encouraging and supportive sentiment that is.

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  4. #23
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by poppyseed View Post
    Yea I've got an easy 1yr old baby, can already tell shes going to have attitude by the age of 2 tho!
    However, I do get annoyed that ppl try and make me feel guilty for having such a good baby. I try not to "rub it in" because I know I prob wldnt handle a difficult baby. And no I'm not full of BS when I say she was sleeping thru from 6wks, self settles 99% of the time, etc. But yes I've been thru tough times with her - bad reflux early on, witching hr from 3-5pm everyday for the first 3mths.
    And I really detest being told my next one is going to be horrible as a baby. Yea thanks for that.
    Why can't us mums just be happy and supportive of each other. U hear someone is "lucky" and has a "good" baby then support them, maybe even joke with them and ask "what's ur secret?"
    I have plenty of mummy friends who have had a hard trott with tired, sick babies but not once have they condemned me for having a good one. We support each other thru it all, no matter what. I don't rub it in and they don't begrudge me for my good fortune.
    Mums need to stick together!!!

    Ps I'll get off my highhorse now

    Sent from my iPhone using Bub Hub app
    This is us. Super easy baby. She's awesome. Slept through from 8 weeks. Has done the inconsolable baby scream things twice in her life (both times there was a good reason).

    I don't 'talk up' her behavior. She's just a good baby. I'm not out to win an award or prove a point.

    But I went through HELL to get her. Multiple miscarriages. An ovarian ectopic. TTC put on hold because of chemo drug. TTC put on hold because of toxoplasmosis. I would have taken a difficult baby without hesitation if it meant not going through so much pain and heartache.

    Try not to think of others as being 'better' than you, or more capable. You really dont know the full extent of what's happening with other mums behind closed doors.

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  6. #24
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Hmmm ... I dont have an "easy" baby. He is very content and happy, but he sleeps like utter crud. He feeds/rocks to sleep. Hourly waking at night, and he has to be feed back to sleep as he screams the house down otherwise and gets hysterical. So I am tired ALLLLLLL the time, literally. And atm he is transitioning to one nap a day, but his one nap has only been 45mins. So he is up around 7 hours afterwards, I cant get him back down for a sleep, so I have him clinging at my legs to be picked up and cuddled in the afternoons when I'm trying to get dinner on. And then thats 7 hours straight of trying to find things to do with him. Its tiring, its exhausting.

    But I do not hate on those with "easy" babies who sleep through and nap perfectly. Absolutely not! I know many lovely ladies whose babies sleep through & self settle, and I love hearing how well things are going for them. I think its great for them, and I'll joke around sometimes and ask what their secret is. Or that I wish that day would come soon for us lol.

    I have other friends who do rub in how great their babies sleep, or whinge and whine when having to get up 2 times overnight. But I still dont hate on them, I just think good for you/or sympathise with them when they have had a hard time (for them).

    And I really hate the "next one will be hard" saying too. HATE IT. How RUDE! Why such negativity over an innocent baby?

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  8. #25
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I know all of mums( regardless of them having easy or hard babys) are great mums who love their children. Im not implying in the least that mums with easy babies are not real mums ,etc.
    I dont want to create negative feeling and neither do i want this thread to be a 'nasty ' thread as implied by a PP.
    All i wasnted was to share my frustration. ... but if it turns to mums pitting against eachother than i rather this be closed .
    Last edited by OS&N; 29-02-2012 at 08:02.

  9. #26
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    this too shall pass.

    There are times I have been careful not to talk up the highs of each of my babies with other mums. Sometimes the crestfallen looks of 'am I doing something wrong' on some other mum's face when my tiny little one trots across the floor in a group as theirs crawl along, doing other things my little one can't, but the mums wonder for a second/assess whether there is something theirs aren't doing quite right - and I die inside. Then I remember the reflux times, the tongue tie massacre of my breasts, etc etc, and that there are no perfect babies - except in precious moments, from time to time, baby by baby.

    Each child has their highs and lows. Remember what it is like to have difficult baby times in a few years time when your children are sitting quietly and joining in happily in their sporting groups in school, becoming school captain etc, be patient with the kid who fidgets and whines because they are wired differently - not necessarily because their parent doesnt set boundaries. Be supportive and understanding of their parents and the isolation and grief (and joy) they feel. Be kind to yourself if it is your child in that situation.

  10. #27
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    This is a vent thread - for the purposes of venting.
    I think those with easy babies shouldn't take it personally - just let OP vent without turning this thread into something else.
    Last edited by MothersMilk; 28-02-2012 at 21:54.

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  12. #28
    Guest Guest
    I have friends who have struggled with sleep and feeding and my baby never had those issues, I tried not to talk about how great they slept when they were telling me how frustrated they were, I think it can be insensitive at a time when a new mum is having a hard time.
    I get what both sides are saying, but I don't think anyone would brag or say it in a malice way, when your talking about your babies what are they meant to say? I think if I said I had it hard I'd be lying, not the other way around you know?
    Don't take it personally, I know being tired and dealing with all that can make you sensitive and not want to hear how easy someones having it, but don't shut other mums out completely, they can also be a great help at times.

  13. #29
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I have a friend who's had a hell of a time from labour, birth, new born, pnd, money the works . I'm due in ten weeks and what if I have a dream baby? Will she hate me I understand where ur coming from though. What do i do?

  14. #30
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    To be honest, is it possible you are just a bit sensitive because you are tired?

    everything is so hard when you are tired, and it's hard when you have been up 6 times overnight and someone tells you their baby has slept through. I'm sure your friends arent meaning to rub it in your face, they are rejoicing in a victory!

    I have had 2 bad sleepers, ds didn't sleep through consistently til after dd was born. I dont begrudge those who's babies slept through from a young age, I am just incredibly jealous. I hope friends with kids that still dont sleep don't think that I am gloating that my 3 yo and 1 yo both finally sleep through, it's been A loooooong road to get here! How about a high five?

    And wishing a hard baby on someone is just a bit wrong. My dad used to say things to me like ' serves you right for being such a hard baby' when my ds was a nightmare baby, it crushed me to hear someone wish that on me

    *hugs* it does get easier

    **Mum, Dad, Big boy (Dec 08) and Baby girl (Feb 11)**


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