Wow! I tell you what - it's not a lack of trying on your behalf! I'm really impressed by the steps you have taken to solve the issues - and you are still truckin' on continuing the quest - good for you!
My DD has just started using the word "boring" in the last two days. A word I seldom use. But she's learned it and now applies it to various toys and activities.
I've been in contact with a few places - dance schools and pcyc etc to arrange activities to keep dd interested and occupied. She's not due for Kindy until next year and I think she'll be more than ready.
The school she's going to has a name for meeting the needs of both advanced children and those who are a bit behind. I'm really concerned boredom at school (and not listening to the teacher/getting into trouble a lot) will cause her to dislike school and lose her love of learning.
Perhaps I'm jumping the gun and am worried about nothing. She is only 3 after all... but in many ways she hasn't changed much since she was a baby and I can't imagine a big turn around before she is of prep age.
The best times I have with dd is when we go out just for fun - I buy lunch out and maybe a cake or ice-cream, we play on some swings somewhere and she can have a go on one of those dodgy coin operated rides etc.
Or we cook something together and I let her do what she can to help (even if messy).
I feel close to her during these times and her behaviour is often more co-operative after it. (Sometimes it's the opposite which I find extremely disappointing but oh well).
I just want to preserve our mother/daughter relationship no matter what. I don't want to end up distant, strained and something like what you'd see on Dr Phil.
In the worst times I try to remember her and picture her as the little newborn baby she once was - how precious and vulnerable and innocent she was - and then I realize she is STILL these things and needs me.
And I've noticed the more trouble she gets in - the more trouble she gets in! It snowballs.
Sometimes I have to throw a grenade of surprise in there and break the spell. Last week I gave her a special biscuit (a rare treat for her) out of the blue. She said "What's this for?" And I said it was because I loved her and she is my beautiful girl.
Honestly, she seemed to want to continue to please me and I could see she felt really good about what I said - not just the biscuit.
We've just got to be one step ahead all the time princessbubba. I always believe that anywhere there is a problem there is also a solution. You've just got to keep trying and chipping away to reach it.
Our girls, like all children, have the potential for greatness. They need the support and scaffolding from us to achieve it. And it sounds like you are trying everything possible to give this to her and I think you are doing a fabulous job.