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  1. #1
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    Default Another question.. does having a girl make you look at your appearance??

    Even since I found out I was having a girl I am paranoid about the image that I am going to send to my daughter.

    It makes me very image conscious about myself.

    Is this just a having a girl thing?? With DS I was more worried about getting out in the garden and playing trucks with him, I knew to some respect DP would be his role model.

  2. #2
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    It's made me change a few things.

    So far I have never said that I look fat, or questioned if I do, nor talked about dieting in front of her. I will really try to continue that.

    I have stopped commenting on anyone's weight/ looks, as that isn't something I want to model to her.

    I have tried to shift my focus toward healthy/ fit being good, rather than anything to do with image.

    Apart from the fact that DH would never forgive me (!), I would never have Botox/ do plastic surgery (in the forseeable future, anyway) as again I don't want to model those attitudes to DD.

    And I'm careful not to tell her she's beautiful too often, but to mix it with other praise that values things like strength/ intelligence, etc.

    She's still young, but since finding out I was having a girl it was really important to DH and I to do whatever we could in the home to stem the tide of image/ appearance stuff that she will be hit with by society.

  3. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Guest654 For This Useful Post:

    MumDadBoyandGirl  (02-03-2012),Polly6034  (27-02-2012),TinyLittleTootsies  (27-02-2012),~Marigold~  (27-02-2012)

  4. #3
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    I think the points GirlX raises are important for both girls and boys - for my son, I hope this helps to develop his own healthy body image as well as healthy views on women, inner beauty, respect etc.

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    MumDadBoyandGirl  (02-03-2012)

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    DD is still so little, but I'm actually just as careful with what I say around DS as I will be with DD. I think it's important for both boys and girls to have a healthy body image.

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    MumDadBoyandGirl  (02-03-2012)

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    Yep! I try to never talk about diets (not that I'm on one) or about being "fat" ect. I try not to think I'm not good enough to hope that she won't ever feel like that herself.

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    Exactly what Girl X has said is how i feel with two daughters. I have had low self esteem ironically only since having DD1 as my body failed me in many ways, but I try never ever to talk about being fat, or anyone elses body shapes etc. I was brought up not knowing about body shapes or diets and I never felt like I had to diet etc and didn't even know what it was for someone to call someone else "fat" until I was almost in highschool and I had to ask my Mum why the boys were saying someone is "fat". I thik this goes for all body shapes or conditions that are physical.

    Also on not praising for looks too much, and finding a variety of things to be proud of in my DD's.

    However now that I am pregnant with a son, I also think it is just as important. Men had body issues as well as how they see and treat women being important. I don't want my son to think that every woman should be unhappy if they don't look like a model or strive for that etc. If I talked about myself in a negative way I think it would just pave the way for him to see women as having flaws if they aren't perfect.

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    For me yes. Now that you mention it I seem to have focused alot more on the girls things, shopping, hair, make up etc

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    MumDadBoyandGirl  (02-03-2012)

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    I agree that we need to work to teach our girls that it's not all about looks.

    My DD (4) is quite focused on her appearance - she is pedantic about what she wears, she likes to look 'pretty' and I can see as she gets older that she pays attention to what the other girls are wearing.

    She also models herself on me a lot. If she puts on a skirt and then I walk out in a dress, she often goes and changes into a dress to be like me. It's flattering but I do worry how to teach her to be comfortable in her own skin. I certainly don't force it upon her. It's funny though, if I wear pants she tells me I 'don't look really nice'.

    I agree with pp - it's good to give praise about lots of things like being happy and clever so they don't get too fixed on physical beauty.

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    I'm really conscious of empowering my dd with a positive self image and not passing on any hang ups I have. Im also conscious of social condition as much as she is very naturally feminine and loves pink and all that I want to raise a independent feminist women we have the message that girls can do anything as can boys etc.

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