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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2009

    Default Pregnant and feeling Insecure?

    Im not exactly depressed, well maybe a little. Currently in my third trimester (barely) and had a very bad weekend in which I need some advice. Part of me thinks im being silly and I should get over it, but I cant seem to get it out of my head. Im wondering If maybe this isnt my problem and perhaps my husband who is at fault.
    So here it goes.
    My husband was best man for one of his friends on the weekend. Not that I minded, I was fine with that. I was also invited to the wedding, meaning I sat on the table where all the groomsmen and bridesmaids partners sat. It was ok, I understand that. Another groomsman was a friend of DH, and I know him quite well, I sat next to his wife Amanda. We arent exactly friends, but we talk when we are together, its not that we dont like each other, its just we have nothing in common. I told DH to make sure he came and spent at least some time with me so I wasnt alone all night in awkward silences... and he promised he would.

    I didnt see much of him at the ceremony (understandably) and at the start of the reception he was pretty much glued to the bridal table, which again I understand. I felt a tinge of jealousy when the bridal party entered the room and he was partnered with the maid of honour, but I get that as well. I knew the feeling I got was silly, because thats just what happens at weddings. Anyhoo, bridal waltz I had to look away while he was dancing with her, and again I was upset by it, but I knew it was expected of him. I just tried to make convo with the Amanda to get my mind off it. I could see she felt the same because she was happy to talk and not look at her DH dancing with someone else. So after the dance DH comes up to me (FINALLY) and I ask to go outside for some air. The first thing he says is how AWESOME and FUN his partner (bridesmaid) is. At that moment she comes out with her DH and some other girls and they start to fool around with the photobooth... in which my DH decides to join in... leaving me alone. Amanda's DH comes out and starts chatting with me... with Amanda. Thats the last I see of my DH for the rest of the night. I spend the whole night with Amanda and her man.
    At the end of the night when the bride and groom were leaving DH comes up to me and hugs me, and then a song comes on The dirty dancing song 'Ive had the time of my life.' Straight away he points at the bridesmaid and says 'OMG lets try the jump.' She was all enthusiastic about it, but her DH shook his head (my DH didnt see it). I was very upset by it. Mainly because he pushed me away again to be with her, and the fact that he cant even pick me up, even when not pregnant, Im not exactly heavy, he is just not that strong. I would say she weighed the same amount as me. At this moment Im very insecure about my weight so I felt very ugly and fat. The worst thing is, he never even introduced me to her, which seemed like he was trying to ignore me, like he didnt even want me there and that he didnt want her to know about me. At that point he was asked to take some things up to the hotel room for the bride and groom. He did. I was still standing with Amanda and her DH (he stayed with her all night), the bridesmaid came up to him and asked If my DH had already left to the go to the room. I immediately felt like she wanted to get him alone privately. I ignored my feeling, because I shouldnt think like that. It could all be fine. I said "if you leave now you might catch him". SO she did. I was paranoid from that moment... 20 minutes later they both came back and we left to go home. DH mentioned how they mucked the room up a bit by leaving silly messages and turning the sheets into shapes (penis and vagina). So immature and I thought it wasnt nice. That was his excuse for taking so long to come back downstairs. I think I do trust him enough in that respects. Though some feeling I have tells me he REALLY liked her, and that the whole night was one big massive flirting event.

    What do you people think? Am I over reacting? When Im pregnant I get insecure and paranoid. I cant seem to stop crying or stressing about it.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    It honestly sounds like he got totally caught up in the excitement of the night and was in turn immature and hurtful. But he probably doesn't even realise that what he did has hurt your feelings.
    Can you talk to him tonight about how it made you feel, rather than letting it fester?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I understand how your feeling. I get super jealous and upset over dh and girls or even talking to much to his sister i want the attention and we should be getting it as we are pregnant.

    I always tell dh that im annoyed about it though and i think u should tell him how you feel.
    See how he reacts to it.. But i do think its our extra crazy hormones making stuff like this worse. But i hate it too.
    Goodluck hope u can talk and he understands he should have given you more attention.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2009
    I would sit down with your dh and explain it to him, tell him i really felt ignored and it really hurt when you kept leaving me to spend time with x and how would you feel if it were reversed and you were ignored all night cos im basically all over some other guy,

    In saying that if its not a regular thing i would agree that he was probably just caught up in the moment but do tell him men can be daft and i doubt he will know he did something wrong unless u describe in detail


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