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26-02-2012 13:42 #21
26-02-2012 13:47 #22
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26-02-2012 13:54 #23
Also, travel before kids but don't let anyone tell you that you have to stop travelling afterwards. You can continue travelling with kids
26-02-2012 15:13 #24
I know exactly how you feel. I have always been so super clucky that it's crazy, for as long as I can remember. All I have ever really wanted to be is a mum. I'm now almost 23 and DH and I are expecting our first bub in July. I'm really glad we waited until now.. I feel like we have both grown a lot in the few years we have been seriously talking about having kids and we both have a lot more to offer as parents. I know it seems like forever to wait but the time comes before you know it. For us, although we both really wanted kids I'm really happy that I waited for DH to be completely ready to be a dad before we started TTC. It's such a loving, bonding time for us at the moment and I don't think it would have been a few years ago.
In saying that.. Everyone is different and every situation is different. But be prepared for life to change and for tough times, they come when least expected!
26-02-2012 15:35 #25
I think you have to appreciate are you just clucky or are you ready to be someone's mother. The mother of a difficult newborn, a toddler. Are you ready to parent a 10 year old and a teenager ?
Babies are gorgeous yes but you need to think of the bigger picture. A baby becomes a child and you will have a dependent for at least the next 18 years.
I have been clucky since I was 18 but waited untill I finished my degree, bought a house and we are getting married in 8 weeks. As I matured I've realized I shouldn't have a baby cause I'm clucky and want a baby. It's that I am ready to take on the role of mother, parent, teacher and provider in partnership with my husband.
Good luck with your decision.
26-02-2012 15:35 #26
I had our first baby when I was 24, my husband is 33 and it was the right time for us. I have travelled and seen a bit of the world, I have a career that I set up before I had bubs and we own a house and are financially stable. Tbh for me if these things weren't in place like my career and a house I would have put off having bubs until then. Being a government job the maternity leave is very generous and I have now returned part time no problems and it's great to have that to fall back on.
26-02-2012 16:11 #27
Returning to work as a working parent is not always done "easily"
26-02-2012 16:42 #28
I fell pregnant with my DS at 20. He was a surprise.
I love being a mum, it is the only thing I have loved doing as much as I do... but it's also the hardest thing I have had to do. I wish sometimes I had had more time not being a mum... I am pregnant with our 2nd and even though this is the life I wanted.. being a mum and housewife... I feel like I could have done do much more.
I gave up my career and had to change my entire life to have my son. I in no way regret it, but I do think about how things might have been different if I hadn't had him so early.
I think you know if you're ready. I have an 18 year old sister though, and knowing her... There is NO way I would recommend her to have a baby. Depends on the type of person you are.
26-02-2012 16:54 #29
You sound like you know what you want and like you have thought of all the possibilities. Personally, I'd say wait an extra year or two before TTC. I've never been the party type. I absolutely, positively HATE clubs! I don't drink much and I've never really been a wild one.
The only reason I tell you to wait is because who you are now and who you are in a few years time is completely a different person. Also, there's a chance the things you love about your partner now you'll hate in a few years time. You grow up, your mind works differently, you're stronger as a person, you meet new people... You grow as a person.
My mum always told me to wait & I always told her that I don't want to travel & I've done everything I need to do but I kinda think that I should have listened to her. It would have been nice to travel with DH, set up my career etc. I miss the freedom sometimes.
But at the same time having DS has made me soooo much stronger as a person. He has helped me discover myself, I've gain friends, lost friends and I've now found the courage to start a makeup course to refresh my skills and start a business.
Do what you think is right but weigh up all your options.
Good luck with whatever you decide = )
26-02-2012 17:02 #30
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