It's DS2's 2nd birthday today, it should be a happy day but it isn't DH is working away until late tuesday. DH was pretty upset he was going to miss DS2's birthday so we decided that we would just have his birthday when DH is home (Wednesday), it all sounds good on paper but today I'm feeling awful that it his birthday but I can't say anything (although I did whisper a little "Happy Birthday Sweetheart" in his ear when I was changing his nappy this morning). DS1 & DD don't know today is his birthday and we don't want them to because of them associating DH not being home for special occasions. I have this awful guilt hanging over my head today, that on top of everything else going on and I am just so tired of DH being away
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25-02-2012 14:51 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
I know it isn't wrong...so why am I feeling so guilty?
25-02-2012 14:59 #2
So many .
I think you are doing the right thing and totally get how you're feeling. We've done that when our first DD was very little, DH is gone by 5am and not home until 9pm 7days a week during summer and of course her birthday is the 2nd of Jan so he has missed a few of them but before she was able to remember we'd just hold off until he had a chance to be there to spoil her.
Doesn't make you feel any better on the day but will when you are all together again.
Have some more .
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25-02-2012 15:20 #3
I think what you are doing I actually a wonderful act for your family and when your DH is back and you guys get to celebrate as a family, im sure you will feel better knowing you got to share this moment.
I can imagine how guilty you feel to your DS but as he doesn't understand, he doesn't know that anything is amiss.
And look at it this way, when we get older, sometimes for lots and lots of reasons, it's not always doable to celebrate birthdays on the actual day. As long as it's celebrated, I think that's all that matters. The date on which you actually celebrate is just a technicality.
Also, if you want to do something special for him but not make a big birthday fuss as your DH isnt there yet, why don't you treat your kids to a special dinner like their fav take out or buy/make a yummy cake/treat for dessert. Dont tell them it's for his birthday but just because you love them and they'll think all they're Christmases have come at once.
•Sent from my iPhone•
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25-02-2012 15:34 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
Thanks guys - I really needed those
That's a great idea to treat the kids tonight and not say anything. I might grab a DVD, make pizza's and a cheese cake (not alot of choice here for take away, so homemade take away it is )
Thankyou so much
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25-02-2012 15:53 #5
I think your doing the right thing!! If it was me in your shoes, I'd feel horribly guilty too but this way your whole family get to celebrate his special day together!
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25-02-2012 15:56 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
My mum moved Christmas once, we weren't allowed to go outside and play with anyone for three days! I'm amazed she kept that one quiet!
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25-02-2012 16:23 #7
Sounds lovely! Enjoy your 'special' dinner .
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