I'm sorry your going thought this.
First of all there is nothing wrong with you as a mother or a person for going through this, this stuff happens and good on you for getting help, it's not your fault.
If at any point you feel as though your not getting the right treatment or the right care from nurses ect then speak up! It's your health and you owe it to yourself to get the best possible treatment you feel is right for your, and your not alone many women go through this, your not a freak or a failure, which is how I felt sometimes.
I have suffered depression for 13 years, have suffered from panic attacks for 5 years, and many other things related to my depression.
I never had any problems with sleep, but during my last 3 months of pregnancy I couldn't sleep, I remember being so tired but just could not sleep, I would get upset have panic attacks that would last for hours until I pretty much passed out I would still manage to get a few hours of naps in during the week but it was very stressful and controlling.
I was also put on temazepam when I was 30 weeks pregnant and they made me more awake and quite shaky, I must add though that during my pregnancy I was told to stop my anti depressants as they were to strong and wasn't advised on different antidepressants to take which I think had a lot to do with it, where as my dr should have prescribed me a "safe" antidepressant for pregnancy.
When I daughter was born I had the worst depression I had gone through, I had feelings of suicide and when my daughter would cry I would break down have panic attacks and yell at her. My husband by that point had enough and was constantly worried about leaving us along together, he took my straight to a different dr who put me straight into a program which helped a lot, I also had my mum move in with us so I always had some one around.
When my daughter was born I didn't sleep for about 2 weeks straight.
I think it's great your getting help, if my husband didn't do what he did I don't know where I would be.
I never found the wards to be helpful, they made me more stressed! In the end I found that 4-5 counciling sessions a week, the right medication, help from family was the best treatment.
Pregnancy can do funny things to your body, after having my daughter I developed OCD, mainly with food, and lack of it, and also with washing my hands and I have this things where only certain amount of lights can be on in the house at one time. But with help I'm getting better.
I wish you all the best, and I'll keep you in my prayers, hoping you get some well needed Zzzzz very soon! Xo
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25-02-2012 20:16 #21
25-02-2012 20:18 #22
I hate the stigma of anything phsyche related. I would have sat next to you also. Anxiety is very common and it's not contagtious ffs some people honestly have no clue.
I really hope you are able to get some sleep before you have your baby and aren't made to have him or her in that awful place. Huge hugs*
25-02-2012 20:25 #23
Hi Caviar, I too, have been inside, though for different reasons, and know the stigma of mental illness. Please try not to feel ashamed and remember this is your body's response to preg hormones, a chemical state in your brain over which you have no (or little) control.
Maybe your DH could help with some relaxing massage before you try to sleep for the night, and remember you will have a window after you take the meds for sleep, in which they will work well (abt 40mins), and if you pace too long, they may not help. Sounds like you're having panic attacks upon trying for sleep. Some sort of mental affirmation may help, ie. I am safe and okay and it is good for me to sleep. I will go to sleep easily and my body will love the rest. I love my mind and body and release the fear so sleep will relax me, etc etc. Come up with words you like and make this your mantra.
A little relaxing and focussing meditation when you lie down to sleep, a meditation where you concentrate on your body, not your mind, may assist. Go through all your body parts from your feet upwards, tense then relax each muscle group in turn as you think of a peaceful scene, waves crashing on a beach (something rhythmic), birds flying in the sky (something beautiful), etc.
Another good one is to concentrate on your breath ~ in-breath 'I nurture myself', out-breath 'I nurture others', or simply breathing in and out, banishing your thoughts; if any arise, bring your mind straight back to your breath.
It's really easy for others to say, "all you need is sleep, go get some," but they have not had your experience and it's obviously not possible for you to sleep just like that! It's patronising, dismissive, unhelpful and flippant for people to say these things. I remember having similar sleep-induced panic when I was hospitalised, and it's awful. Terrifying. Maybe a hot bath before bed, trying to sleep in a different position, some lavendar on your pillow, anything that can push some different 'sleep buttons' may assist.
A journal to write out and validate how you feel before bed can help, too.
I really hope you get home soon and get some decent sleep asap. Please keep in mind that this is a temporary, preg induced state, and the end is in sight. Try find some assistance you're comfortable with for after the birth, just in case you experience any post-natal depression/anxiety. Your body is reacting to the hormones, these will change after the birth, and it pays to be prepared.
Sincerely hope you get some good help, and all our thoughts are with you. Here's to a speedy recovery for you. Good luck.
25-02-2012 20:28 #24
Please don't feel ashamed. If people have an vision of mental illness that causes them to move chairs, that is their problem - not yours.
Hugs for you Caviar. I hope things get better for you soon.
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25-02-2012 20:29 #25-
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
Please please please get yourself some Bach Flower rescue remedy and take 5 drops under your tongue every 30 mins and DOUSE yourself with Pure 100% therapeutic essential oil of lavender! Put it all over your pillow. put 15 drops in a warm bath. Focus on your breathing. In through the nose for 3 breaths hold for 3 out through your nose for 3... just keep focusing on your breath and breathing in healing white light and breathing out negative black sh!t!
Hope you can find it in yourself to relax and sleep asap. DOnt worry about everything else. It will all be fine.
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25-02-2012 20:32 #26
I spent time in hospital for PND, totally different to you but its still scary being in a locked ward.
Shame on that nurse for so publicly humiliating you like that!
The Following User Says Thank You to MoonGecko For This Useful Post:
25-02-2012 21:52 #27Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
So sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time Caviar. I hope you have a long deep and restful sleep tonight with sweet dreams. Please don't feel ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
I don't imagine you have your phone with you now, but if you read this before bed, something that helps me when I can't sleep is reading. Especially when I'm afraid. I don't put the book down and turn off the light, as that's when the anxious thoughts appear, I literally read until I fall asleep. Perhaps if you have a book you could try that. Good luck. I and many others will be thinking of you tonight and praying for a speedy recovery. Big hugs
25-02-2012 22:27 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
Big hugs I really hope you get some sleep tonight and please remember that if people are too afraid to be anywhere near you it is not your fault, it is them being frightened of things they don't understand
25-02-2012 22:58 #29
Caviar I hope you see these and know that you have women all over sending you love and strength. Pregnancy takes over our bodies and minds and you should be proud that you knew when to say help. Not only would we all sit beside you, we would hold your hand and pace with you!
I agree that the counted breathing may help. In for 3, hold for 3, out for 3. Maybe start while you are pacing and see if it will transition you to standing still then sitting etc?
Our thoughts are with you. Much love and hugs your way. Xx
Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub
26-02-2012 06:47 #30
So I hope that you got some sleep. I too have been in a psych ward 9 times in the past, its not great and as much as I hated it at the time it was the best place for me.
That being said it is not the place to birth your bub and they will transfer you to the labour ward due to it havinga all the facilities for you and bub. They will just have a consulting psych see you and may have one of the mental health nurses stay with you.
On the sleep issue, have they tried you on seroquel its a drug that helps your mind to relax and drift to sleep. I took it in the latter stages of pregnancy with dd 1 and it was great.
Hope you are doing ok and drop me a line if you need to talk.
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