A few days ago I wrote of being prescribed with Temazepam for a spot of insomnia. I couldn't sleep and was wondering how this drug was going to help me.
Things have dramatically escalated since then. To date, I still haven't slept at all and now I'm being treated for anxiety by a hospital psych team when I approached my antenatal clinic begging for help. I yearn for sleep and have stepped into a very vicious cycle that has erupted from absolutely nowhere. I am told, however, that a lot of women suffer this either right before they give birth or directly after. I am being told it is hormone related brought on by pregnancy. In the meantime, I believe I am going mad and will never sleep again. They tell me this is the sleep deprivation bit.
The fear is ever present and very real..which totally mystifies me as well. When I start to nod, I am jolted upright by a wave clamping down on me, heart is racing and it takes me a few minutes to calm down and realise I'm alright. At night, I pace as the movement calms me. The nurses tell me all I have to do is keep still, focus on sleep and I'll be fine. But it's not that easy and I'm not fine. I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle this.
I'm not sure how long I'm in for at the moment but I am hoping to get my first sleep of the week in tonight. My DH will be assisting me as last night's effort was a nightmare.
Somehow, in some manner, I have developed a fear of sleeping. I start to nod off and - bang, instant agitation and panic ensues. Nothing has ever happened to me like this before and I am completely out of my depth but I think that perhaps writing about it will (a) garner some tips on how to handle this; and (b) alert others who might be going through the same thing to do something about it; (c) bring this out in the open in a (perhaps feeble) attempt to banish any shame around this subject. I admit that last bit is for me as I am very ashamed about what is happening to me here. For me, the shame stems from my perception that I can't handle pregnancy and not being able to get to sleep is ridiculous.
Anyway, Temazepam isn't working and I'm on something stronger this evening when I return to the ward.
Being within the mental health system has been an eye opener. When I was getting a medical clearance done and the A&E nurse announced loudly to me that I was to be handed over to the psych team, three people moved to another seat! *LOL* I also noticed I have this magic permiter of 5 feet. In other words, in addition to not sitting near me, no one will stand near me either.
So there you have it. I have a few interesting weeks ahead of me.
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25-02-2012 15:23 #1
I've ended up in a Psych ward.
Last edited by Caviar; 25-02-2012 at 15:29.
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25-02-2012 15:29 #2
Wow. That's full on! I got pretty agitate from my pregnancy insomnia, but I always managed to get some sleep, even if it was only 2 or 3 hours. No wonder it is taking a toll on you! I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight!
How many weeks are you?
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25-02-2012 15:30 #3
I'm in my final weeks. If I'm still "inside" by the time I give birth I'll do so in a locked ward and eventually transfer to an outpatients clinic.
25-02-2012 15:31 #4Feel my wrath!
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Where the wild things are
I hope you get the help you need.
There is no need to be ashamed, there is nothing wrong with not being able to cope sometimes.
25-02-2012 15:33 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
25-02-2012 15:38 #6
I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight. And I agree with Pregnor, there is no shame in needing some assistance. It was very brave of you to seek help
Good luck and for you
25-02-2012 16:17 #7
This happened to me after a traumatic incident, but to a much much lesser degree. i always end up passing out at night. (it wasn't during pregnancy)
I really hope you get some very well deserved sleep
25-02-2012 17:04 #8
you poor thing. I hope you get some sleep. I'm sorry I don't really know what to say. We are all here for you.
25-02-2012 17:16 #9
Oh, I wish I could give you a big hug! That sounds absolutely awful I can't imagine being afraid of sleeping, it must be dreadful. Is it the idea of sleeping that you're afraid of? Or is it that something will happen to you while you're asleep?
I hope they find something to help you soon *hugs*.
25-02-2012 17:26 #10
I hope someone can help you sweetie.
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