Stay At Home Mum, or Unemployed Bum?

[NancyBlackett]

It's hard. Especially when your child isn't with you 100% of the time. It's like being stuck in the middle.

[share a book]

It's hard. Especially when your child isn't with you 100% of the time. It's like being stuck in the middle.

Yep, stuck in the middle. Being reliant on Centrelink payments makes it different, too. I know all too well how people feel about that.

[NancyBlackett]

Yeah look there's additional room for judgment there, but if it works for you don't let it get to you. If it isn't ideal for you but is an interim don't let it get to you and focus on your end goal.

If there is one thing I have learned from the hub it's that women will judge one another no matter what. Hence we need to be firm in our own life decisions.

[Super Trooper]

Yeah look there's additional room for judgment there, but if it works for you don't let it get to you. If it isn't ideal for you but is an interim don't let it get to you and focus on your end goal.

If there is one thing I have learned from the hub it's that women will judge one another no matter what. Hence we need to be firm in our own life decisions.

I agree!

People will judge others no matter what... You have to be content in your own life decisions and f*** what others think

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[LoveLivesHere]

All I know is I been a SAHM for 19 years now. I am not employed as I am not looking for a job.

I don't see the age of my child being a factor at all. After the last two weeks of being a mummy to my adult child, my feet have never been as big or sore from the running around after her.

SAB you are a great mum and don't let anyone tell you any different.

[MoonMoon]

Im reluctant to answer honestly as I've gotten the feeling we sometimes have to walk on egg shells in this forum, but anyway...

I suppose you'd have to define "bum" first! If you happen to define bum as someone who doesn't work, had no intention of working and expects Centrelink to pay their way in life, then you are not a bum :-)

You could possibly be unemployed if you are actively seeking work or intend on working in the future.

My interpretation of "housewife" is a lady/mother who does not have a place of employment and lives off the income of their partner (not Centrelink).

As long as you and your family are happy with your role in life then that's all that matters. Anyone who gives you sh!t about it is probably just jealous! I know I'm jealous of SAHM's - I'd love to be one but can't afford it!

[Sweet Tooth]

A stay at home mum has plenty to do if the kids are at school or not.

I apparently have twice as much time on my hands now as i have mu oldest DS in prep this year, even know i still have a very "spirited" 2 year old at home.

Please will judge you whether you work or not.
And i find everyone has an opinion on the matter.

BTW: Stay at home mum

[share a book]

I guess it's tricky also because I have never been truly unemployed before. I finished work the day before dd was born, and the moment I was able to work, I did, which meant it was intentional that the first year was home. But now it's different. I want a full time, permanent job simply because Centrelink is not enough to live off, but that's still months away. The casual work here and there keeps us afloat, but it could end at any time, and that is downright scary.

I think mums in a position to stay home rock, as do mums who work outside the home, and mums who work at home to be home with their kids which will be me after April. Just have to get through, and not have the power cut off before then.

[bumMum]

Hmm this may be one of those awkward threads where people get mad.. I think that it really depends on every individual person and their family and their families needs and what that mum is doing during school hours. If she is doing constructive things, volunteering or helping at school, or just has a bigger family and a lot of housework and cooking and stuff to organise etc than no I would say there is no way you could call her a bum. There are probably women who are just very lazy during the day when their kids are at school. Having lunches with friends and taking up hobbies or something lol.. they are probably more likely to be partnered women with a fairly comfortable lifestyle I guess as not many families would choose for the woman to stay home full time after the school years unless they can truly afford it. I have read most of your posts and you have a tricky situation. I feel for you. You are not a bum. Growing up my mum and dad worked full time and it was very hard yeah.. Tbh me *personally* I don't place much value on being a homemaker or whatever you would call it once the child starts school. Its not for me and no, I am not someone who thinks its important. That's because that is how I grew up. I remember my childhood quite happily and I never had a stay at home parent much. But I really don't care what anyone else chooses. Everyone sees the parenting role differently. The other day someone was saying to me they don't want to work while their kids are at school, because she wants to do the drop off and pick up, she wants to keep the house clean and bake and volunteer at school and then she said "this is why kids are out of control now, their parents are too busy working full time". I totally don't agree. But that's cool, I don't really worry what anyone else does all day. I can also really sympathise with people who struggle to find work hours that are family friendly. So many friends have to do the before and after school care thing and it seems very stressful. I'm hoping to find myself in a dream job so I can avoid all that!

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[halloweendee]

Im reluctant to answer honestly as I've gotten the feeling we sometimes have to walk on egg shells in this forum, but anyway...

I suppose you'd have to define "bum" first! If you happen to define bum as someone who doesn't work, had no intention of working and expects Centrelink to pay their way in life, then you are not a bum :-)

You could possibly be unemployed if you are actively seeking work or intend on working in the future.

My interpretation of "housewife" is a lady/mother who does not have a place of employment and lives off the income of their partner (not Centrelink).

As long as you and your family are happy with your role in life then that's all that matters. Anyone who gives you sh!t about it is probably just jealous! I know I'm jealous of SAHM's - I'd love to be one but can't afford it!

completely agree....i tend to think of the term 'unemployed' as someone who wants to work, but currently is unable to find a job and is living on unemployment benefits or savings.

so by my definition, you are a sahm. and i don't think the term bum comes into it at all.....that just makes me think of dole bludgers whose career it is to rort the system.