I'm 20 weeks pregnant on Thursday and my hormones are insane. This is our first baby(22..23 this year) and were in our early 20's. And we only just started living together on our own. He's so great and tries so hard... But i find myself snappy and getting frustrated with him. We've been fighting since living together (3 weeks) completely on our own. He's at work from 2 until 12 or 2 in the morning, working a good but hard job. So i spend most nights by myself. Everything little that bugs me seems so much worse. Than today he just left for work and said even though you don't love me, just stay and try to work things out. Now I feel so horrible because I do love him. And I didn't want him to think that I didn't.It's like I just can't control it. I snapped at him this morning over forgetting the foxtel was being put in today . Before we had the best relationship.. despite losing a pregnancy 3 months before this one. It's only been since living together and its only me it seems. He gets me food in the middle of the night on the way home, leaves notes before he goes to work just to say he loves me.. he's so sweet and I'm just horrible and mean I dont want to push him away... How do you get used to living with someone for the first time and hormones....
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21-02-2012 13:52 #1
21-02-2012 14:28 #2
It's a learning curve to live with someone at the best of times. Just reassure him that when you snap at him, it is just hormones and that you do love him and want to be with him. He sounds like a fantastic guy and try not to beat yourself up, you're not exactly in control of your emotions right now.
Moving in together puts a lot of pressure on a relationship and you've done it at one of the most stressful times of your life. Give yourself some slack and remember "this too shall pass". Nothing is forever and while it might be hard to begin with, you'll come out stronger in the end.
21-02-2012 14:47 #3
It takes a while to know each other's rhythms.
DP and I spent every night together up until she went to study a few hours away and lived on campus. She lived with me on weekends.
When she came home and moved in completely - it took a while to get used to it. Stuff that never bothered me before, bothered me when we lived together because the novelty of spending every minute together wore off and I just wanted a clean house (for example).
We've been living together for 5 months now and we're used to it. She knows what I need to cohabit peacefully and likewise.
The most important thing is communication. Just talk. It'll help to work out what you both are struggling with with the other, and when DP knew what irked me, she really tried hard to fix it and same with me.
21-02-2012 15:04 #4
Best thing is communication, pick a peaceful time in your day together, cook him brekky and tell him you love him and explain how your feeling while pregnant it will give him an insight. You may have crazy times when you want to throw thing's at him believe me I get this way when I'm pregnant lol these are the times you say I'm a bit moody at the minute... I love you but not now! with a big smile on your face and then there are days you just want to cuddle him all day! just tell him how you feel moods are crazy when pregnant and I reckon he will be so understanding If your just truthful with him and to live together you need to communicate, love, laugh, cry and compromise show each other your good & bad side but remember your both only human and you both love each other and that little bub in your tum is the proof of that best of luck I hope my waffling helps somehow lol! xx
21-02-2012 15:58 #5
My username is preggasaurus. Its because when I'm pregnant I'm like a big cranky, hormonal tyrannasaurus rex. I get a bit nuts.
You're definately not alone. But, you do need to talk to him about it. We talked it over when I was pregnant first time and ended up turning it into a joke, Dh was the one who named me preggasaurus, and while I didn't laugh at the time, its hilarious now. We made it, and now I'm pregnant with number 2, we both knew what to expect this time.
Finally, if I've had a nuts crazy day, later, after I've calmed down, I always apologise, and we laugh at preggasaurus and move on.
So do what everyone advises and communicate.
21-02-2012 16:30 #6
Oh, this is me. It seems most nights I'm apologizing to DH for another completely random outburst. Something that helps is I will leave him a note in random places that says, 'I am a hormonal, crazy pregnant woman. I love you more than all the *insert craving here* in the world. Please remember and know this the next time I lose my marbles.'
This is our third, so DH is sort of used to the moods. Though, last night we had a MASSIVE blow up because my hormones went nuts. I made him a little meal and apologized and said, 'I really, honestly can't control this!'
Talk to him. Reassure him. Maybe tell him about all of us who rip off our husbands heads when we're pregnant, might make him feel better.
21-02-2012 17:57 #7
Thank you all so much. I'll sit him down and explain it to him. I already make his breakfast and lunch for work.. but fridays he finishes at 6 so I think I'll make him a nice roast lamb.. if Its his fav, and I've never made it before. But I'm so happy to know I'm not alone.
21-02-2012 18:06 #8
I used to wake my husband up and yell at him for sleeping, if I couldn't at 41 weeks why could he haha I was a MEGA *****! But your doing a great job! best of luck
21-02-2012 19:58 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
It takes a while to get used to living with someone new.
Whilst being pregnant and your hormones are raging.
You need to have open lines of communication and talk to him about how you are feeling. Maybe he will get a little insight into what is happening with you.
I know when i was pregnant i was cranky one minute and crying the next and my DH just learnt by my tone in my voice when i needed my own time and he just tried to make it as easy as possible for me.
Take it one day at a time and keep the lines of communication open.
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