My 6 yo has mild autism. He is having issues with social skills that I'm working on.
But it seems everytime we go out he always gets yelled out from other mums. I've been ignoring it cause I know not all parents know or understand about autism.
But I've had it. Why do parents feel its right to yell and discipline my son. I'd rather them approach me nicely.
I took my 4 kids to a cafe with a little play area. My son made a track and playing his truck through it. A boy (say 3 or 4) came and played with his track and he pushed him.
Firstly I know my son shouldn't of push and I explained this to him. I turned my back and the mum got up him and told him stop being mean.
Through my son eyes he made a track and this little boy messed it up so he reacted.
Anyway my question is should I go up to these mothers and say he has autism and have social problems? These mums are already angry and will probably start on me and I will probably attack back.
Pls note; my son isnt a bullying and I try my best to discipline him.
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21-02-2012 07:47 #1Gday Australia
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
Dealing with other parents
21-02-2012 08:11 #2
I don't have experience with autism but hope it oks to reply... I would definitely let the parents know, as nicely as possible. It won't have prevented that incident but it might make them think twice in future before reprimanding someone else's child.
21-02-2012 08:16 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
Hard call cause i have a similar issue with my eight yr old. I find it effects his self esteem to hear it constantly being talked about but then so does abuse from random strangers
i think if u say it nicely *most other parents will prob be a lot more understanding.
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21-02-2012 08:26 #4
i would be annoyed if some mother got up my son for pushing her kid after he mucked up his track after i had already disiplined/spoken to him about it.
if it was me (no experience with autism though) i prob wouldnt say anything about him having autism, just 'please dont tell off my son, i am dealing with it/have delt with it' or something. i dont think there is a reason for someone else to yell at a child for doing something when the mother has already spoken to her child about it.
21-02-2012 10:20 #5
I have to keep my mouth shut when out and about.. Kids need to learn to deal with issues with out their mums butting in. Buttt if it got bad id prob go and talk to them both nicely.
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21-02-2012 10:40 #6Senior Member
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- Oct 2010
as a parent who has had ZERO experience with autism, im sorry to say, id probably have been that mum (although if you had already told him off i wouldnt say anything).
To be honest if it were me i would appreciate you coming and explaining (if your comfortable that is) that your son has autism and is working on his social skills. I would probably feel terrible about telling him off (if i did) and apologise to the mum.
Like i say, i have ZERO experience with special needs children and to be honest would have no idea if an autistic child was around.
I hope tis has not offended you in any way, my point is, not all parents know when a child has autism and may apppreciate a quiet word.
21-02-2012 10:53 #7
I've started to quietly tell people ahead of time that dd is on the spectrum.
21-02-2012 11:32 #8
This is complicated...
Firstly, I think it's more appropriate for the other parent to approach you and not your son.
However I don't think you should get too upset.. if you consider the other parents POV, they would have no idea your son has autism and even if you said as such to them, they may not know what this actually means in a practical sense. All they can see is an older child pushing a much younger child who just wanted to play.
And, one would expect that at the age of 6, one would have an understanding of what is right and wrong.
A quiet word to the other parent is the best idea I would say but done in a way your son is not made to feel talked about.
21-02-2012 20:10 #9
My DS2 has autism (PDD-NOS). I have been forced, twice, to explain his behaviour to other parents. Both were in a park when it was very busy.
At both times, I honestly could not account for his behaviour any other way & felt I had no other option. When I told the other parents he was on the spectrum, they just looked at me and responded with "Ohhhh.... ok then". I have no idea whether or not they understood what that meant, but I felt it somehow excused the uncontrollable behaviour. Mind you, both times I was in a mood. Other times I have just taken/moved my son away from the other kids or simply apologized and left the situation.
I still find it hard to say or admit he is autistic (he has been dx for 2yrs now). But some parents who seem very offended or not understanding of his behaviour, need to be told. I have said "He is autistic, he is doing the best he can". My DS has no idea what it means yet though (4yrs old) & if I tried to explain he would have no idea what I was saying.
Hugs love. I do think some people need to be "advised" on why your child cannot control his behaviour. Don't ever take what they say or do personally xxx
21-02-2012 20:18 #10
It drives me crazy how complete strangers think they have the RIGHT to talk/tell off any child they don't know ... If they have a problem they should address the parent or get over it .
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