I have read other peoples posts on the people around them being disappointed by the gender of someone elses baby.
It was our decision not to find out the gender of our baby until she was born. It frustrated us by all the people constantly asking "do you know what it is?" or "do you hope its a boy" etc.. When it turned out we had in fact had another DD people would say "are you gonna try for a boy?" or "are you gonna have any more".
My response to people asking if we knew what "it" was we were having, My response was always to look thoughtfully into the distance and say "hmm uh yeah they checked last time at the ultrasound to see what it was and they cant be sure, but they think it is a baby, but they aren't 100% sure". People always look at you really confused when you say that and it kinda gets your point across without being rude.
And my response to "Are you gonna have any more, or try for a boy?" will be "It would be nice to have a boy but no I think this is it for me cos pregnancy is really hard on my body and I dont think my body can handle any more babies." People have generally nodded and said oh ok thats fair enough with an approving look.
It got me thinking, how does everyone else respond to other people gender disappointment and obsession on knowing someone elses baby gender..
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15-02-2012 14:47 #1
**spin off** how do you respond to other people's gender disappointment/obsession?
15-02-2012 15:02 #2
I just say (which I'm sick of saying over and over but that's beside the point) that we only ever wanted two and we are really excited that DD will have a sister to grow up with. That yes, we would have loved a boy just as much, but we are just happy to be blessed with children at all, with everything we went through TTC.
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15-02-2012 15:09 #3
Since finding out we are having a boy I've heard how now DH must be happy because he's getting a boy. Um, no actually we both love having two girls. We get "well you can stop now, finally got that boy". Groan.
Say, it might be a velociraptor, but it's probably a baby.
15-02-2012 15:14 #4
It most certainly can get annoying especially when you may not want anyone else to know what your having. But I suppose as humans we are curious and always questioning other people's thoughts and feelings so we can try to relate to them or make sense of things in some way.
The best way is to just make light of the situation. If they ask you if you'd try for a boy again my reply would just be "I'm more than happy with the two beautiful girls I have. So when will you try for another one?" hopefully they have 5 children and at the thought of having one more they feel a bit dizzy.
*in a world full of hate, they'll know only love* <3
15-02-2012 15:16 #5
Before we found out we were having a girl I tried to guard myself a bit from the 'do you want a girl?' talk. Because I desperately wanted (and am having in the next couple of weeks!!!!!) a girl. So I tried to maintain a solid 'I'm just happy to be having a baby'
But close friends knew how I felt.
And it's not like it was a total lie. After 2 years TTC I'd be happy with any baby as long as they were mine.
15-02-2012 16:31 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
We didn't find out gender with either of ours but seemed to get asked more with the second (girl first, boy second).
In response to the "do you know what you're having" (or worse, "do you know what "it" is), I'd say "They tell me it's a baby, but they could be wrong. It could be a Ferrari. That would be cool!"
In response to "is your husband hoping for a boy" (with both but especially #2), I'd say "No, I'm pretty sure he'd be ok with a Ferrari too...".
Hey, you've gotta amuse yourself somehow!
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15-02-2012 18:32 #7
I might ask before someone knows the sex if they are hoping for a boy or a girl. When they tell me what they are having I ALWAYS say "oh congratulations!!!" even if I know they were hoping for the other sex.
15-02-2012 19:22 #8
People always ask if we are going to try for a "pigeon pair"
I always just say "no, the only thing that could be worse then having a boy is having another baby"
If we have another I'm keeping everything crossed for another girl
15-02-2012 20:27 #9
I'm about to have my 4th daughter in the next week.. I knew she was a girl from day dot and was keeping it a secret but after everyone was saying its a boy or you'd be so upset of it was another girl I thought nope screw u and announced it was a girl to shut ppl up but now its got worse with ppl saying you'll have another just to get ur boy.. I'm stoked to have 4 girls just wish ppl would stop going on about it as if I'm devastated!!
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15-02-2012 20:50 #10
I have two girls and am pregnant with my third child. So many people assume that we have tried for a boy, are hoping for a boy or are going to have a boy. After a miscarriage last year, I am just glad to have a healthy (and now over 24weeks) and viable pregnancy on board. Yes, dh and I did find out the sex at the scan, but we are keeping it a secret. Scans are never 100% certain and we only found out to help with choosing a name. We really didn't care either way, we are just thrilled to be having a baby. I am getting totally over people with all the boy talk. I am tired and cranky and might just poke the next idiot in the eye.
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