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15-02-2012 11:19 #1
Behavioural Changes after Visitation
Last edited by Ana Gram; 12-07-2013 at 16:19.
15-02-2012 11:23 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
My DS used to come back hyper, rude, disrespectful, violent... There wasn't really much I could do but reinforce our morals and wait a couple of days for him to settle. He gets incredibly hyper when he's had too much sugar and he'd come home with bags of lollies so it'd take me a good day or two to get him to 'detox' from all the crap food.
Unfortunately, last year he came home and was displaying some very concerning behaviours. I spoke with a councellor and decided it would be best to discuss it with his father. His father has now decided to not see him at all and, TBH, I'm actually glad as the behaviours were becoming incredibly concerning. I didn't tell his father not to see him, but I wasn't going to allow the behaviour in front of DS to continue - I wanted him to seek counselling but I guess he decided it's all too hard.
15-02-2012 11:28 #3
My boys are a bit 'ratty' when they come home from seeing their dad. They settle pretty quickly. When they visit ex mil they are hyper till next day - she loved them with lollies, cordial and other assortments of junk!!! Thankfully that's only every few weeks.
They are staying the night with their dad this weekend for the first time in about 7weeks, so it will be interesting to see how they are when they come home.
Me -28 & my boys 7, 5 & 4
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15-02-2012 11:29 #4
Our kids did when they came back from their mums they had no rules and did what they pleased as she just wanted to be their friends and we looked like the bad guys they would stay up late ate all hours of the day night you just have to set rules and wait until the behaviours settle try and talk to the ex if you can to try and keep some continunity so makes the transitions easier.
15-02-2012 12:26 #5on a self imposed ban
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
Yep. DS gets very highly strung after visits from his father. He cringes and cries if he hears a loud noise.
15-02-2012 13:40 #6
Generally DS will come back super tired, as in I get him back at 3pm and he is in bed asleep by 4pm. That hour in between, I just go with the flow as much as possible, the next day he tests the boundaries. Im pretty sure to make sure that they are still the same and that nothing changed in his absence. It usually only lasts a couple of days. More if its been a longer visit, longer visits are a realm of their own though.
15-02-2012 13:47 #7
Not single (re-partnered) so I hope if you don't mind that I answer this.
I have been thinking of making a thread similar to this
My children go and visit their Dad every 2nd weekend etc. I have had the same issues since the last visit. It took me a week to get them back to their usual behaviour. Now they go to their fathers this weekend I had similar issues that you are having with your DD. Not sure what turned it around for them, but Sunday just gone they were back to their regular behaviour here.
I wonder if it is different expectations between houses and they are pushing the boundaries here. Their father is into blind obedience and strict discipline. We parent very differently, half of the reason we are no together.
Sorry I can not help but I can empathise!
15-02-2012 16:01 #8
DS comes back in a very strange mode. He is generally very c,Inge, yet completely silent and withdrawn.i try to just reassure him and be there for him as much as possible.
19-02-2012 12:46 #9
My DS comes back very chatty & hungry. He sometimes falls asleep in his father's car on his way back to me but sometimes he doesn't so he is pretty tired by the time he comes home. His dad only has him for the day. It prob be different when he starts doing overnight stays later this yr
15-03-2012 21:04 #10
Yep, each fortnight there is an adjusting period.
I try to just be as regular as possible and TRY to have extra patience. He seems to be settling quicker and quicker
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