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    Default Donating sperm how do you ??

    So my husband and I have been thinking of helping a couple have a baby by donating his sperm but not sure what it all includes? We dont want to dump his stuff at a clinic and have a ton of babies just want to find a nice couple and help then get to their dream do the recipients pay for health checks etc? We are willing to send them pics of our daughter and willing to leave totally alone or maybe be an "uncle" or friend I was going to donate eggs but seems to difficult so thought this would be a better way to help.

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    I'm not too sure about Sperm Donation, but I am doing Egg Donation with a lovely recipient.

    The best thing to do would be to ring a Fertility Clinic and ask them all you want to know. They usually have Info nights too that you and your partner can attend. After that you can start looking for someone to donate too if you want it to be known. I'd suggest getting to know the person by their posts before approaching them, you don't want to give someone high hopes and then devastating them by pulling out. It's a big thing to think about.

    As far as I'm aware, if your partner does go through with it, his sperm will be quarantined for a certain amount of time. And if you find a couple (or single) to donate too there is a cooling off period where you can think further about the process and so on.

    Good Luck!
    xx J

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    Lovemyfam  (15-02-2012)

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    i am the receipient of donor sperm from a private donor so im happy to fill you in on my experience. am currently 18w pregnant with #2.

    Being single and having fertility issues i started my journey with a FS recommended my a friend. all the costs of sperm donation are born by me the receipient which i had no problem with. your hubby will have a series of blood tests and give a donation to make sure his sperm is what they are looking for etc. hubby will also be required to have conselling and maybe you too it does vary between clinics. if you pass all the screenings etc hubby will make a few donations that will be put in quarantine and in 6 months time will have more blood tests and if everything ok and you are happy to proceed sperm will be released for use.

    i went through FS for 3 cycles before cost became an issue for me. My FS still assisted due to my fertility issue but i went searching for a private donor.

    ulternatively you can look to donate privately by finding your receipient yourself
    via the hub or other sites. i found my donor through diy-baby.com which is an australian based site for people to advertise that they are looking for sperm donors.

    With a fertility clinic you dont get any information past the basics like height age eye colour and basic medical info which was a bit of a problem with me. after a few cycles i wanted to know more about the man who was helping me because it is such a great gift hence my decision to find a private donor.

    I found a great bloke after talking to some toads and we meet a few times to get to know one another. in this time we both had bloodtests etc. i chose not to have his sperm looked at as he has children of his own (4) so i knew that side of things was fine. After 6 months we started trying and on my second cycle i got a BFP.

    Hope this bit of info helps. feel free to PM me if you want more in.

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    Default sperm donor experiences

    My hubby donates to lesbian couples and one straight woman and its always been via "turkey baster" - we meet and chat extensivly with the chosen recipients, paperwork gets signed, blood tests are done and then when they are ovulating they hire a hotel room and give us a call. They then step out for about 5 minutes whilst he does his "thing" and then we leave and they self inseminate themselves. He has 4 boys and they will all know who he is and some of them come over once or twice a year for a bbq the others we get photos or catch up once a year for coffee. It can be a pain in the bum though sometimes - some couples dont bring clean specimen cups or plastic syringes so hubby just declines to donate till they can organise themselves. And every anniversary or Valentines day it seems like one couple is ovulating so no sex for us - acutally its no sex 4 days prior to donation and if the couples cant give us those 4 days notice no donation. We keep a respectable distance and are not intrusive at all and i think this is why we have successful relationships with the recipients. I hope this helps

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    Quote Originally Posted by pisces00 View Post
    My hubby donates to lesbian couples and one straight woman and its always been via "turkey baster" - we meet and chat extensivly with the chosen recipients, paperwork gets signed, blood tests are done and then when they are ovulating they hire a hotel room and give us a call. They then step out for about 5 minutes whilst he does his "thing" and then we leave and they self inseminate themselves. He has 4 boys and they will all know who he is and some of them come over once or twice a year for a bbq the others we get photos or catch up once a year for coffee. It can be a pain in the bum though sometimes - some couples dont bring clean specimen cups or plastic syringes so hubby just declines to donate till they can organise themselves. And every anniversary or Valentines day it seems like one couple is ovulating so no sex for us - acutally its no sex 4 days prior to donation and if the couples cant give us those 4 days notice no donation. We keep a respectable distance and are not intrusive at all and i think this is why we have successful relationships with the recipients. I hope this helps
    Hi There

    Just wanted to ask a question, I hope it doesn't come across wrong. But don't you guys worry about the legal side of this style of donation ... like if a woman decides she wants you DH to pay child support and orders him to do a paternity test?
    Just curious as to how you avoid this?
    I'm guessing you're super careful with who you choose, but sometimes people can change?

    xx J

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    Idonttrustjelly - love your quote by the way, so funny.

    To answer your questions we sign legal paperwork that states that he is donating his sperm only on a donation basis and not for parental purposes and that we also will abide by our agreement to not persue visitation rights and that the couple are the legal parents and guardians of the child/children born from this donation. Also should the mother or both parents pass away the child will not automatically come and live with us etc. This paperwork is also witnessed and sighned by all parties and witnesses and holds up in a court ( our best friend is a soliciter and did lots of research to come up with this type of legal agreement). It is also important for my hubby that there is a granfather, uncle or male influence around the child which all couples understand completely and agree with. The couples also have to be together for quite a while and display stability within themselves.

    Alot of our friends make jokes about him donating sperm and me donating eggs but its hard work. And you are right, people can change especially when they are finally holding the baby in their arms, but we re assure them that even though the baby is now a reality we still stand by our agreement and this really puts them at ease. I guess so far we have been lucky with our choices. A few even ask us to be in the labour room, which i have told hubby im more than happy for him to be there but i would just wait outside next to the food vending machine - its just to give them their privacy although i would love to be in there.

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    Are people open to lots of questions? Or so they get turned off If you discuss things like circ and stuff

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    Thank You I love that Movie (My Quote) lol.

    Ok, just realised you had "paperwork" stated already! lol.
    That's great that you have such a strong system in places to cover those aspects, I just couldn't imagine the process being done without them!

    Do you guys have a limit of how many people you donate to in a specific region? ... I'm so nosey! lol.

    Are you going through Egg Donation too?

    xx J

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Are people open to lots of questions? Or so they get turned off If you discuss things like circ and stuff
    If you want everyone to be known, then a lot of questions have to be asked. You need to determine if you are comfortable with the person you're donating to. You need to feel 100% sure that you are doing the right thing with the right person/people.

    If you're interested in those qualities, then you need to find someone like minded. Essentially, you are helping a couple create a life that they can love and take care of. It will be their responsibility once they are pregnant and you should not be attached of feel you should "mother" their opinions.

    For example, I love the woman I'm donating too and I believe she'll be a great mother. Do we agree on everything? no. But we agree on the basics of care and love. I already have it in my mind that this egg I carry is simply that and it is her body that will grow a baby, and deliver a baby and nurture a baby, her baby, not mine, as far as I'm concerned, my friend will have a child and ask for advice if needed

    Sorry, I waffle so much sometimes! lol. I hope I haven't taken over your thread!!!!

    xx J

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  12. #10
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    i have been an egg donor for 17yrs and have 19 donor kids but 1 of my own and my hubby doesnt have any children apart from his 4 donor kids. He doesnt want to donate too much so there is a heap of kids out there.


 

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