Main concerns at the moment:
- not listening. I'll often have to ask the same question/make the same request many times just to get his attention. It's not even like he's being naughty, it's like he hasn't even noticed or has forgotten already.
- general focus. Often something simple like walking down a hallway will involve countless distractions in his little mind and he'll literally be in his own world.
- inappropriate actions/comments. He'll often break into random noises (cannons, space ships, pow pow etc - he's not exposed to violence at all by the way) or running on the spot, roll his eyes back to make a scary face, karate chop the air etc all just randomly and some days almost constantly.
- not reading social cues. This stems a lot from not listening. He might say hello to someone in the shops, they might say "hello, how are you?" back to him, and he might respond to mid air with random noises or what not because he hasn't computed what they said.
- actions/consequences. To some degree. He's able to take excellent care of his things, would never do something dangerous like touch the cleaning products, wont be intentionally naughty, tries to be kind etc but he might do something like pinch or hit without the intention to cause harm just because he does it without thinking. He might need to be reminded multiple times that it doesn't feel nice and isn't ok because he didn't really think about doing it to begin with.
The thing is he has days when he's great. He can be incredibly thoughtful and helpful and will focus on something like lego for hours.
He's very very smart, but often can't, or doesn't want to, focus to use that intelligence. For example if I try to do anything with letters or numbers with him just wont have a bar of it, says he doesn't understand and it's boring and walks away. But if you catch him off guard and write something like "red car" on a piece of paper he'll say "What are you writing about a red car for?" then realize he admitted he could read it, so act up again. He might claim to not recognize any of the letters, then randomly say "Look mummy I did something for you" and you'll find that he's torn the shapes of about 10 letters perfectly out of paper.
Similarly with drawing or painting he'll almost always just draw a squiggle or a squash of paint. Then very randomly will actually focus for a second and draw a rocket ship, person, house, dog, dinosaur etc perfectly.
He's such a mixture!
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14-02-2012 16:39 #11
14-02-2012 18:06 #12
Just quickly cos Ive got an appt for DD (priorities right )
DS (12) has ADHD .. he was diagnosed at 7 after almost 2 years of psych and paed visits.. I'd be vary wary of a GP that diagnoses it in 1 or 2 visits. Its a VERY in depth process of diagnosis.
I have managed it without drugs for most of the time we have known. There was a period of a few weeks where he was on ritalin (please don't believe all the stories demonising it!) and it was an absolute god-send when he was completely unmanageable (so bad I ended up on anti-depressants!) But I mostly use behaviour techniques.
Sorry to leave you hanging with no info! But I will be back with heaps heaps more for you! If you have any questions (even if you think they are personal!) please feel free to ask It can be such a horribly lonely thing to deal with, especially when you get endless comments of "he's just naughty", "its a lack of discipline/poor parenting" etc
14-02-2012 20:20 #13
Hello I'm sorry to barge in since I don't have my own children but our closest friends (I consider their children my brothers) have a son who has Aspergers syndrome. children with Aspergers are extremely intelligent. A lot of what you described is the same symptoms/signs as him.
Just a thought, it may pay to do some research into it?
Sent from my iPhone using Bub Hub app instead of cleaning the house!!
14-02-2012 21:06 #14
I would take him to a child psychologist to be assessed. They will explore all possible explanations for what you are observing and can then offer therapeutic support to you and your son based on their assessment findings.
15-02-2012 00:36 #15Anyone who has a child with this - can you point me in the direction of things that helped you?
If you are concerned, do take your concerns to someone who specialises in child behaviour.
To be brutally honest, I can't see any red flags in what you've written about his apparent behaviour. Next door's boys are that age and they are like what you've described and are normal, healthy kids.
However, I'm not dismissing what you're saying. But what helped me is that I made sure the person assessing my child was experienced and qualified. There are a lot out there who say they are but aren't!
15-02-2012 01:47 #16
I hope I am not out of place but I felt I should post.... I am an early childhood teacher and I would look at getting him assessed!! I say this as he enters a school environment he may need help so instead of teachers labelling him "problem behaviour child" they can assist him with the correct techniques for his own needs
Am happy to help any way I can
Goodluck!! They are very talented little creatures...
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15-02-2012 08:38 #17
PM'd you OP
15-02-2012 11:33 #18
Sent you a PM was a bit long for forum.
15-02-2012 12:39 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
Clucky I can identify some of the issues you are having the with your son.
My nearly 4yr old DS has only been at school for 3 days and we already have had a parent teacher meeting
I too have wondered about aspects of ADHD but I know a main component of it is it has to be demonstrated at school, at home, at others peoples houses etc and he does not act up everywhere.
My GP and MCHN are not concerned at the moment and feel that alot of his behaviour is okay. They think he is just a 'immature 4yr old and he is at kindy to learn how to manage his emotions and play with others. The teacher admitted today she has a 'niggle' about his general behaviour and his ability to socialise in large groups ( this is our issue as well) impulse control (butting in, not sitting on the mat, which I am not concerned about). He can socialise well in small groups but he has issues been able to play with larger groups of children. He is the same with kids he has know since he was born. He finds it hard to share and talk to them. He does have a speech delay which is improving but we wonder if it is adding to his frustation.
So I dont know who to turn to either. The GP and MCHN are saying for us to wait a term before we go to a Paed. If anyone has any info on the same thing I would love a PM or advice on what you did.
Sorry for my essay. I just really know how you feel at the moment
15-02-2012 19:00 #20
To extend on what I wrote earlier... Nothing that you have described about your son absolutely screams ADHD, esp given his young age,... but if you have any concerns it's best to see a child psychologist. They don't use medication and will give you strategies to best support him, whether or not he meets criteria for a diagnosis.
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