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  1. #11
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    Something alot of people don't know is that you can request a "family review" which is conducted by a court appointed officer, they watch how the child interacts with both parents individually and the talk with both parents then provide a official report saying what is best for the child.

    I had one of these because my ex was requesting over nights when my son was 6 months old, most fathers automatically get over nights when child turns 2. My report came back saying my ex has anger management problems and is not allowed to have over nights until child is 3 and all he is allowed at the moment is 3 x 1hr visits per week.

  2. #12
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    Id be getting a second opinion on what legal aid has told you. Just because you have an agreement til June shouldn't matter if you are genuinely worried about the welfare and safety of your son...physically and/or psychologically. I don't see how an agreement should matter, the safety of your son comes first. Please get a second opinion.

  3. #13
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    My 3yo DS has similar reactions to changeover: he's 3yo and has been having sleepovers every 2nd weekend for more than 12 months and often has to be dragged off me. We had video footage of this as changeovers occur at the train station however the courts weren't interested. They got a family consultant to do a report. During the interviews she had me go into a room with DS then bought his father in and had me leave the room and he behaved like a perfect angel. So this is what the courts were prepared to accept. The family consultant is a trained psychologist and the report basically said 'well the mother and child have a strong relationship... there are concerns the child becomes distressed at changeover but there isn't any evidence that the child is in any danger at the father's home so the father child relationship needs to be encouraged'.

    What I'm doing is making sure that DS & I have some uninterrupted time together to do something fun before he goes and when he comes home. He's made it clear its important he has my undivided attention- no visitors even family. So that's what I'm trying to work on. Its never easy.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by amanda151087 View Post
    Something alot of people don't know is that you can request a "family review" which is conducted by a court appointed officer, they watch how the child interacts with both parents individually and the talk with both parents then provide a official report saying what is best for the child.

    I had one of these because my ex was requesting over nights when my son was 6 months old, most fathers automatically get over nights when child turns 2. My report came back saying my ex has anger management problems and is not allowed to have over nights until child is 3 and all he is allowed at the moment is 3 x 1hr visits per week.




    Do you have any information about how to do this? Or when I have my appointment at Legal Aid on the 23rd would they be able to tell me?

    I have told ex I will not be making DS go if he reacts the same next time, but I am a bit scared about what ex will do.

  5. #15
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    Just ask the legal aid people when you have your appointment

  6. #16
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    I luckily don't have that problem. My DD sometimes wants to come home with me if i go somewhere with her and her dad and its his weekend but thankfully he lets her come back with me if she wants to. That way it's not a stressful thing for her. And most often she wants and likes to go with her dad.

    I think it helps them feel more secure and less like prisoners if they can be given a choice to a degree. Well it's whats worked for me in my situation anyway. Sadly i realise that a lot of ex's aren't nearly that resonable..

    I really feel for mums who are forced to leave their children who are crying to come home with them it must be absoultely gut wrenching


 

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