Pretty sure that's what I read but it could just be a policy with the Fertility Clinic we're going to go through? Honestly it all just meshes into one confusing lump of confusion to me!
RWS - are you going to tell your DD how she was conceived when she's young but old enough to understand?
View Poll Results: how do you feel about it?
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I was adopted and I would use an anonymous donor
I was adopted and I wouldn't use an anon. donor
I grew up without a bio father and I would use an anon. sperm donor
I grew up without a bio father and I wouldn't use an anon. sperm donor
I grew up with a bio father and I wouldn't use an anon. sperm donor
I grew up with a bio father and I would use an anon. sperm donor
I grew up with two mothers and I would use an anon. sperm donor
I grew up with two mothers and I wouldn't use an anon. sperm donor
Other - please specify
06-02-2012 11:55 #11
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06-02-2012 11:56 #12
Im still confused by half of it
06-02-2012 12:00 #13
You "could" describe DS as having being conceived by an anoyn sperm donor. A few major points of difference though resulting in similar outcomes.
1. I know who the father is. He's whereabouts and his history.
2. I am in contact with his family (although not him, he and DS have never and hopefully will never meet).
3. I didn't actively choose to get pregnant.
I grew up with an active father who I am disliking more and more as I grow older. There's lots of different ways you can make a family, but there is only one way you can make a positive family and that is with love, understanding, and support- and THAT'S what I want!
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06-02-2012 13:17 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
I have no issue with it as long as name and other essential details are available to the child upon turning 18. I'm fairly vehemently against truly anonymous sperm donor (obviously there might be some cases where it would be unavoidable - say accidental pregnancy from a one night stand where there is no way to track down the man).
I grew up in a nuclear family, but I have fairly liberal (small l liberal, of course) views.
But I was affected by an article I read once about some of the first wave of IVF children being upset of not being able to find out the identify of their donor. I know a lot of adopted kids etc don't want to know, but I think it would be comforting to have the option if you really wanted to.
06-02-2012 14:01 #15
I'd do anon. Not that I've ever considered needing to use donated sperm... so I dunno any ins and outs of it or anything, but I think it would actually be easier FOR ME (maybe not for my child... I have no idea) to not know who the father is, having him in my life, etc. Chances are, if I'm not making a baby with him as my partner, I don't want him hanging around and interfering in my kid's life... and I'd be worried a known donor could potentially interfere.
06-02-2012 14:13 #16
06-02-2012 14:18 #17
It's a hard one bc I'm married with 2 children to the same man so wouldn't have the need. But.... if heaven forbid he died or something and I wasn't done with kids, yes I would. I wouldn't want a connection to the donor as it would be kind of kicking DH. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying couples with kids shouldn't be able to repartner and have SF's SM's but yeah... no one would replace my DH so I would want anon.
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