Smacking

[Annabella]

Generally I don't smack as I think its hypocritical to hit a child but tell them they are not allowed to hit others. I also don't want my kids to comply out of fear, but out of a moral/social obligation to behave appropriately and treat others and themselves with respect and compassion. There are far more effective ways of disciplining I think.

I have smacked though, and no doubt will again. I am slowly convincing my husband my way is best, he was belted as a child and 'turned out ok' so always expected he would use this form of discipline. I think he is finally seeing how much it harmed him (psychologically) and that there ARE other ways of doing it. Yay!!!

I get a bit of a hard time from friends/family for not smacking, pretty much everyone we know smacks sometimes (no-one smacks a lot) and people have said when my kids have gone through 'difficult' periods its because we don't smack them. But I see the fear in their kids' eyes when they smack their kids and I don't want my kids to be scared of me, or scared into submission.

I don't really subscribe to the 'if you hit your partner it'd be domestic violence' train of thought. Kids and spouses are not the same. I don't believe kids should be treated the same as adults (I would never tell my husband he had to go to bed now because he is tired and cranky and has work in the morning, or withold money from him), but I do believe kids have a right to feel safe. I also believe (as per other thread) that yelling in the place of smacking is just as bad (not yelling to a child from another room to come and do something or to stop a child hurting themselves).

[Benji]

That's the problem share a book - people have their own definitions on what a smack is.

And my DP isn't trying to hurt me when he accidentally collects that sensitive part of my behind, I think a lot of parents would do this unknowingly to their children, too. It really stings and he doesn't do it hard (and I have clothes on lol) by any stretch of the imagination!

[blissfulfairy]

I am a smacker (none of my own kids yet) of any child in my care if they need one.... Friends and family all know this and all smack aswell. Dont worry i wouldnt smack a randoms child lol

Sarah :-)

Omg, seriously?!!!

If you're so comfortable smacking other children I would hate to see the way you deal with your own. Ouch.


Mummy & Daddy - expanding our family! Our little man born April 2011 and now expecting another munchkin in August 2012! Loving it!!!!!

[GothChick]

Yes. Recently tried to smack my 12 year old. But she raised her arm in her defense so with an arm in the way and a toddler on my hip in all my fury I decide to kick her. I kicked as hard as I could with a bare foot and hit her shin bone. I swear my foot broke and I limped for 2 days. She left the scene rolling her eyes at me. What did I learn? That I desperately need to brush up on some karate moves.

This makes me really sad.
The fact that she rolled her eyes suggests that you have done this kind of thing in the past....you kick your child! So hard that you limped for 2 days?!
And your toddler was seeing this.
I dont care how much your teenager winds you up or is naughty, kicking them isnt the right thing to do and I dont think its appropriate to joke about it. Shes not even a teenager, shes 12....would you do this to a 10 year old? What about an 8?

'Raised her arm in defense'...that is just....sad.

[Deserama]

yes.

Baaahaaahaaa you smart @rse!

[share a book]

This makes me really sad.
The fact that she rolled her eyes suggests that you have done this kind of thing in the past....you kick your child! So hard that you limped for 2 days?!
And your toddler was seeing this.
I dont care how much your teenager winds you up or is naughty, kicking them isnt the right thing to do and I dont think its appropriate to joke about it. Shes not even a teenager, shes 12....would you do this to a 10 year old? What about an 8?

'Raised her arm in defense'...that is just....sad.

I think that was tongue in cheek.

[Deserama]

This makes me really sad.
The fact that she rolled her eyes suggests that you have done this kind of thing in the past....you kick your child! So hard that you limped for 2 days?!
And your toddler was seeing this.
I dont care how much your teenager winds you up or is naughty, kicking them isnt the right thing to do and I dont think its appropriate to joke about it. Shes not even a teenager, shes 12....would you do this to a 10 year old? What about an 8?

'Raised her arm in defense'...that is just....sad.

I think she was stiring the pot hey

[share a book]

There are also people who are non smackers, yet they give the firm tap on the hand. They call themselves non smackers (fine by me, I don't care) but can they answe the poll as a no?

[Benji]

I would classify them as a smacker according to your definition share a book. If it's an open palm, then surely it's a smack and not a 'tap'?? I mean, we tap our children on the back with our fingers, "tapping" someone on the hand with a slapping motion is a smack - tapping them on the hand would be with a finger I would imagine.

[GothChick]

I think that was tongue in cheek.

I think she was stiring the pot hey

Doesnt make any sense to me.



As for the whole 'smacking vs 'Tapping' thing...my friend used the old 'egg' when she was explaining to me how she didnt smack, just tapped...she said ' if you held an egg in your hand and hit it with your other hand using the same force you do on your child and the egg doesnt break, it can be called a tap, if the egg breaks, its is more than a tap and is a smack'..


IMO, smacking or tapping, it is still a form of violence and I dont approve.

Share a book, if I tapped DD I would have answered the poll as yes....but thats just me.