My 9mth old starrted FDD on Monday as I unforntuatly had to return to work. Day 1, according to the career went well. I then dropped him off yesterday at noon (I work shift work and my DP would pick him up after work at 5:30). DS had been there just two hourse and I got a call from the career saying that she was unable to settle him and could I please come and collect him. I arrived and DS was asleep in her husbands arms. When I arrived the career advised me that they were not bonding, my DS was unsettling to the other children and that she could no longer care for him. I was dumbfounded!!
Since this all unfolded I have gone through so many emotions. Firstly I have to say I am glad that she informed me and that DS was not allowed to stay in a situation that could have been harmful and damaging.
I just feel that it takes a little more than 8 hours to bond with a child. I fear that her expectations of settling were unrealsitic (though she has 10+ year child care experence???). DS is teething (though this hasn't caused us much grief at home) and usually breastfeed. Though he happily takes a bottle and is on solid food (both which he had there yesterday).
When we went to meet her we said that he didn't have a routine as such, that he was demand BF and we let him take the lead. She said that that was fine and was happy to work with our DS. Obviously not!
Ultimatly I feel a little hurt because he is my DS, I love him and it's hard not to take it a little personally also. FDC were very suprised and have requested that I out line what happened in a letter. They have also provided the names of other careers. I'm hesitant as once bitten twice shy, but what to do??
I just wanted to out this out there and see what others had to say. Sorry this is a little disordered but so much still going around in my head.
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01-02-2012 07:40 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
9 moth old asked not to return to FDD
01-02-2012 07:44 #2
Sounds like she's in the wrong profession to me in fact from you've said she honestly sounds like a bit of a crack pot. I mean she doesn't have a "bond" with your son after 8 hours....really and a crying baby unsettling other kids....you're kidding ?!
Seriously OP she sounds like an idiot and it's a good thing you found out now not all carers are like her, in fact most aren't LOL so don't let this experience put you off finding someone else.
01-02-2012 07:51 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
my son's fdc was terminated as well (after almost 3 years). It's really upsetting, and you feel devastated that you left your child with someone who doesn't want them.
On the upside, at least you found out early rather than prolonging the situation.
The downside of fdc is the carer is a law unto themselves. they seem pickier about the children they take vs centres.
But I'm sure you could find somebody else. It's hard after a knockback though. I cried for a week when it happened to us, but once you find new care, you'll feel better.
01-02-2012 07:59 #4
Sorry but I would be stoked the woman had the strength to tell you that. What if she had kept her mouth shut and not been able to cope with your little boys needs? At least in a centre they can ask someone else for assistance. She saw her limits and knew it was not in hers, your baby and the other children's best interest to continue caring for him.
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01-02-2012 08:05 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
Sounds to me like she only wants perfect children to make her job easier. If she can't deal with a crying baby then she shouldn't be doing fdc. It sounds like his better off not being there
I hope you find somebody lovely to cate for him. It is so stressful leaving your baby in the first place but remember not everybody is like her
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01-02-2012 09:58 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
Are you only looking at FDC? My son goes to a centre and I'm sure he loves being with all the other kids. Also, out of the 3 staff there he has really bonded with one in particular. It's funny because he's not at all interested in the other 2.
I was a bit hesitant about FDC to be honest because I have worked in LDC and been at home with my DS all day since he was born. I know there are days that I get so frustrated with him and sometimes I just let him cry (not for a huge amount of time). I do this for my own sanity and because he is my own son. I would hate for anybody else to do this for him. At least in LDC if a child is driving you up the wall, you can ask another staff member to step in - also you can have breaks in between.
I don't mean to put down FDC as ideally it would be a good option. I'm just saying that I have enough trouble coping with one child on my own, let along a group of them that aren't mine.
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