I agree with this and for older kids too. My MCHN told me when my 3-4 yr old was having a tantrum, just to "love her, hold her". Often that's all they want, not to be shushed or ignored, just held and have their feelings of anger/sadness validated. It works so well and encourages them to express how they feel. They are now 7 & 9 and DS is 2 and i use it sll the time. When I just can't take it, I get the older ones to write how they feel and come and talk to me about it so I have a chance to settle myself down!
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27-01-2012 17:49 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2008
The Following User Says Thank You to Annabella For This Useful Post:
27-01-2012 19:17 #12
Yeah wrena a friend told me about that the car seat thing - I found that a bit confronting!
I too don't agree with doing things that 'encourage' baby to 'release' because ummm to me that sounds awfully like your making your baby cry on purpose.
Though sometimes you have to get from a to b and they have to cry in the car for a time because there's nothing you can do.
I dunno... The friend who did do this to a fuller extend - admittedly going against her gut instinct - I don't think is a good idea. If your gut is saying just hold baby and be there and stay present to them but not to shush & rock & feed them and that feels right then that probably is exactly what they need. But if swaying or feeding etc feels right then do that.
On a side note, I was observing how jasper deals with pain, I'm not sure if it's *good* or *bad* but I've noticed if he's hurt (like bruise on his head or a bad bang or graze, not just a little bump) he'll cry at first and then he'll close his eyes and goes relaxed and still, like he looks like he's asleep. Sometimes keeps whimpering but yeah, I think he's learnt to sort of meditate when he's in pain. I don't know if that's 'suppressing' himself. But it seems to work for him. I'm holding him while he's doing it & he'll usually bounce up after a minute or so and go back to playing.
Last edited by Boobycino; 27-01-2012 at 19:19.
27-01-2012 20:49 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
Annabella, your MCNH sounds awesome! Nice to hear there are some goodies out there I'd just like to add that when Althea Solter says that there is no evidence that crying in arms is harmful, this is a bit disingenuous as there is also no evidence that it is not harmful. It seems logical that crying in arms would be a very different and preferable experience to crying alone but there is no evidence that there is a physiological difference. I read "The Aware Baby" when I was pregnant and thought it was really interesting. I then followed up the references which she used to support her theories and found that she just tended to reference her self and other opinion pieces rather than actual research. I'm not saying that this negates the concepts, but I've treated the Aware Parenting ideas with a bit more caution since. Like Boobycino has said, I think it's important to do what feels right in your gut rather than slavishly follow any theories
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