Hi All, just wondering how long it was before you left your first child with someone and for how long?
My mother keeps asking me when she is going to be able to babysit and I am just not ready to leave DS yet. He's only 9 weeks old and I don't know how long it will be before I am ready to leave him with anyone.
And while we're on the subject how did you decide who you left your baby with?
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26-01-2012 00:13 #1
26-01-2012 00:23 #2
I'm very particular about who I leave my children with, there are only a few people I will allow and they are close family members. I didn't feel comfortable until DS was a good few months, and even then it was just for 2 hours. Now my DS1 is 2.5 years old and i'm happy to leave him with my Mum or my sister for several hours at a time (it was a lifesaver when I was heavily pregnant with no.2).
It depends entirely on whether or not you feel comfortable with it. If you don't, then wait longer. If you have doubts about the person, then listen to those doubts. Make sure it's someone you know well and trust!
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26-01-2012 00:30 #3
I wasn't ready to leave bubby with babysitters (ie my parents who worship the ground he crawls/walks on lol) until he was just over 18 months. He's almost 2 now and will be spending his 2nd overnight with them in a months time He's been in daycare since 19 months as well which I'm still learning to deal with LOL...but his carers are wonderful.
We would not leave him with anyone else but my parents for general babysitting or overnights.
26-01-2012 01:02 #4
The only person I would really trust is living in another state :-(, my mothers a crazy drive, I don't like going in a car with her so no way would I let DS go in a car with her, I know she wouldn't intentionally harm him but she just doesn't think sometimes. And she has a nutter foster kid that although no longer lives with her comes around and I don't trust that kid at all. And I know my mother would just agree with us that she wasn't allowed near DS but then just not tell us if she was.
I have a friend that would like to look after DS but I'm not kean on it because I don't like how she talks to her own kids, she's always yelling at them for doing kid things. Like sitting on the floor spinning or something like that.
Another Aunty would look after him but she doesn't want to change nappies so once he's toilet trained she's right to go. And well there's just not really anyone I trust. Sad really that I don't trust even my family and friends to look after him. but I'm not willing to leave him yet anyway but it's been a discussion for a while now who we would choose.
26-01-2012 07:54 #5
Zoe's still breastfed every 3 hours so I haven't left her with anyone yet, she's 5 months old. The only time I've ever left her was at 9pm one night to sneak out to a movie, and she slept the whole time!
TBH, I'm not even ready to duck to the shops for 10 minutes and leave her with DH. Not that I don't trust/believe he can look after her, just that I feel these invisible strings between me and her and *I* am not ready to leave her. I'm sure she would cope just fine, it's my readiness that is the issue!
I aws very much the same with DS. I think the first time I left him was also for a movie, and I left him with DH. He was probably about 6 months old. But as for leaving the kids with anyone else but DH, probably closer to 1yr, when they were more on solids and longer between bfs.
26-01-2012 08:00 #6Senior Member
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- Oct 2009
We left DD with my parents for an evening when she was 2 weeks old, as friends from overseas were in Brisbane for 1 night, so we went out to dinner with them.
We left her for the odd evening here and there after that - always with the grandparents. The first overnight stay away was when she was about 10 weeks old, and we went away for a night for our wedding anniversary.
I went back to work part-time when she was 4 weeks old (have since stopped work again) and my parents have continued to have her for 1 day a week since then.
I only leave her with the grandparents, but I love the bond she has formed with them. She gets so excited to see them, and I trust them absolutely to look after her.
My MIL is a midwife and neonatal nurse, so that definitely helps! And I figure my mum and dad did an AWESOME job with me...
OP - everyone is different. Some people are happy to leave their kids early, some later, some not at all. There is no right or wrong. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
26-01-2012 08:14 #7
When DD was about 8 weeks or so DH was away for work and mum was staying with me - she looked after DD for about 30min while I popped out to the chemist. I think the first time we left her with anyone for longer than that was to go to lunch for my birthday, so maybe for 2 or 3 hours when she was 4 months. We left her with DH's parents and sister.
SIL has since babysat for us a few times at our house so we can have some us time. She's a doctor so we know she can handle any emergencies!
Oh and when anyone suggests taking her overnight I break out in a cold sweat lol! She's almost 6 months old now but I'm not quite ready for that. She'll be started daycare in about 6 weeks and the centre is great, but I'm dreading it
Last edited by Cue; 26-01-2012 at 08:16.
26-01-2012 08:44 #8
I've left my dd at home without me for short periods of time from about 1 week of age. My dh is the main person I leave my dd with, but I've also left her with my Mum and my friend who has been a huge help. My dh is very involved, so I'm not worried about leaving her with him, but with my Mum & my friend they spent ages with me & bubs getting used to looking after her before I felt confident to leave bubs with them.
I am usually only gone for an hour or so, but I did leave my dd with my dh a few weeks ago cause I had to go to the dentist (for 4 fillings - eik!). As much as I love being with my dd I feel she is better if she sleeps at home and doesn't have to come out with me to do boring things like the grocery shopping. Especially an issue in the heat of summer - not a great idea to have her out & about in the hot car for ages if it's not necessary.
26-01-2012 13:12 #9
My daughter was around 10 months and I left her with my mum for 3 hours. She is now 23 months and has only ever been left with my husband and my mum, and the longest was from 9am-3pm so 6 hours and that was only once
26-01-2012 13:32 #10
If you're not ready to leave your little one, then don't! No one has the right to pressure you to leave him.
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