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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Sydney, Australia

    Default First trimester and partner is depressed.

    My partner and I found out 3 weeks ago that we were expecting our first child. It wasn't planned, but settling down and having a family was something we both wanted and had already spoken about.

    At first he was shocked, but after the first day that turned into excitement and happiness. He was too eager to wait the 12 weeks before telling his family and friends.

    Now however, 3 weeks on, he's gone through a roller-coaster of emotions. Being angry, rude, unsupportive, annoyed. And finally now finishing on depression. He's unhappy, bored, sulky and is taking his mood out on me with nasty comments and a cold shoulder.

    He refuses to believe that at 6 weeks i could have any fatigue or nausea and i feel like i have no support or sympathy from him for what i am also going through.

    Im really stuck with him, every day he comes home upset and angry about something new. Im tired and defeated by him and just want his happy positive self back, but I'm lost for ideas and feel the burden is too much for me right now.

    I've suggested he speaks to someone, even just a friend, but he's too stubborn. I cant take his moods anymore and am starting to feel like i want a break from him till he sorts himself out, but i don't want to seem like i don't care about how he's feeling at the same time.

    What do i do?!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Maybe he is feeling a little ... jealous? That all the attention is now on you IYKWIM?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Im also experiencing similar problems. They day I POAS i told him (it was a Tuesday) - he then turned around and said "but you weren't supposed to test until Friday", he then went back to doing what he was doing (washing dishes I think) and said no more.

    He then wasn't supportive through all my exhaustion - I felt like I was being lazy. He then went on a 4 day bender with his mates just before Xmas - I lost it and we didnt speak for a few days.

    I then had a scare at 10 weeks and went in for a scan - on my own. I told him about it and told him that we have a healthy baby. I put the ultrasound on the fridge and he put a magnet over the top of it! I asked him why and he mumbled something about not wanting anyone to see it and the fact that it looks "weird". He didn't even seem happy.

    I just had my NT scan yesterday, he has known about it for a month, but decided that it was not important enough for him to take a day of work! I feel like I am tackling this alone. My emotions were all over the place in the first 10 weeks and instead of being supportive he would just get in a bad mood.

    He hasn't once expressed any excitement, he hasn't touched my belly and isn't even interested in talking about anything baby related. He is constantly in a foul mood. I know he hates his job but he wont do anything to change it. We are engaged (for 2 years), have been together for 6 years and planned this pregnancy. He is almost 31 so I thought he would be a little more mature about all of this.

    I feel like I am just going at it alone, so I no longer even mention anything baby related. Even though I am bursting on the inside with excitement. So I know exactly how you are feeling!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Sounds horrible girls!

    We had a mate of my hubbys over at our place it seemed like every night for weeks, and then we found out that his girl was expecting and sent him home.
    Wehad a talk with him since and what was really going on was that he was scared out of his mind about being a father/provider/family man. Not sure that he could shoulder the burden of being the main income earner and convinced that he was going to mess up this kid’s life. He didn’t want to talk to his girl thinking that she already had enough of her plate. So his answer was to run and hide!
    I think it’s probably just as hard emotionally for guys as it is for us. And most girls will just call a girlfriend and get it off our chest. Also because they are removed from the physical side of things.

    Saying that there is the option that your boys are just #### #### (feel free to insert you choice of words here) who don’t deserve you or your beautiful baby!!!!!! They need to wake up and see how good they have it! (but I probably shouldn’t say that)


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