So DP and I have decided to TTC in September and it's all we can think about. We're super excited but it is SO painful not being able to talk about it with other people!
I so want to tell my parents that this is our plan but I know they won't be supportive as they'll think I'm too young, we can't afford a baby, we haven't been together long enough, it'll be too expensive etc etc. So I've decided we're not telling MY parents until we're UTD. I'm not sure if DP wants to tell her parents, but most likely not for a while yet.
But I am itching to talk it out!!!! I can't even open my mouth because I'm pretty sure it'll just fall out of my lips. I just want to talk someone's ears off - ask them the questions I have, have them support me by giving me positive stories etc etc. but I don't have anyone who can provide that!
Have you chosen to not telling anyone you're TTC? Is it hard? Who aren't you telling? Why?
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24-01-2012 13:59 #1
How do you keep quiet?
24-01-2012 14:07 #2Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
Hi Firstly, congratulations!! So exciting!
Well, if you're not going to TTC till September, it will be a long wait until you can talk to people about it... BUT you can tell everyone on BubHub abbout it! That's what we are all here for, to help each other out with questions and when things don't go to plan, and to be excited for one another when we get good news!!
I'm getting to the point where I would like to tell a friend about it so I can ask questions to someone I know etc, but I've decided that I won't, because then they will start to ask questions when you don't want them to and I just think that it is something special that my husband and I can share together, our little secret!
It does get amusing though when people areound you talk about TTC and pregnancy etc and they have no idea you are TTC! Amusing for a while, but if it ends up that it takes a while to conceive it can be distressing, so if you get to that point, maybe it is time to tell a few close friends/family so they can be aware and mindful of how you might be feeling.
because of BubHub I don't find it too hard anymore, because I can ask questions without anyone knowing who I am, get support, read birth stories etc to let off excitement I do a lot of baby research on products I want etc Is fun!
There have been a few times where I nearly slipped up, but for now it is our secret
Good luck with it all, hope it all goes to plan!
24-01-2012 15:17 #3
Hi Rainbow road,
Such an exciting time! Trust me, I understand how you feel. When we first started trying I was so excited that I just wanted to tell everyone. We had decided not to tell anyone though, as I didn't want 20 questions from family about how it was going.
For this reason, I love bub hub! You can talk about it with everyone! Best thing, your friends & family won't know who you are on here! All the ladies here are fantastic & understanding. Great place for advice, I'm addicted to the web site, haha.
It has ended up taking us alot longer than what we thought so I had told a few close friends. With the m/c we have had, we ended up telling family so they're aware now. Just be careful when you do tell people you will end up with so many questions & some days you just won't want to talk about it
Good luck! What an exciting time for you
24-01-2012 18:52 #4
I know most of my family will be worried about me/us financially. I'm the only one with a job - DP doesn't have a job currently. We both would rather me stay at home after having a baby, and him support us, but the way it is now, it'll be the other way around...
Also, DP is very young, and we haven't been together that long (but have known each other for years). I know again, they'd worry that he's too young & immature (I'm pretty immature for my age too though :P)
One other reason I haven't said anything to anyone, my family knows my DP has a terminal illness, and we're really not sure how long he has. The rush with us is we want to have a family asap, so he can experience fatherhood, and watch the kid grow up as much as he can.
It'd just make my family worry about me.
I haven't told friends because most of them aren't at this stage in their lives/relationships. I think most of them would be really supportive, and wouldn't worry about any of the above reasons, but I'd just rather tell them once it's happened. It might be too much pressure if I tell them our plans...
25-01-2012 23:08 #5Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
Hi Rainbow road,
I know just how you feel! I am desperate to tell people and talk about it because to me it is such a big part of my identity at the moment (trying not to let it be the only part of my identity but its hard, anyway) but I dont want to for a few reasons.
1. I think it will be nice to keep it special thing for just my husband and I
2. It will be so much more exciting to announce we are pregnant if they are not already waiting for it and knowing were trying.
3. I dont want people always asking me if I am yet etc as that will get annoying and take away from the happiness of it and then people will know straigt away, I dont want to tell the instant I am.
4. The sooner I tell my mother (who is obsessed with becoming a grandma) the sooner she can start buying ridiculous amounts of expensive unnecessary things for the baby, so Id rather delay that. I know she has good intentions but it wastes her money and its all stuff I will have to store.
5. I dont want people looking at my stomach and wondering when its just a food baby!
But Im soo soooo soooo glad I finally joined this forum so I can talk about it with you guys! And get my baby thoughts fix. Scares DH if I talk baby to him too much.
Rocky27 so very sorry to hear about your M/C, you would definately need support of people close to you for that. Best wishes to you all in your journey's
19-08-2012 10:18 #6
How do you keep quiet?
IMO I wouldn't tell people. When DH and I got marries this year, I made no secret of it with work, friends and family that kids were on the cards pretty soon. I didn't give them a month, but I said we want children and won't be waiting long.
Well...I tell you what- what a mistake! Family were fine and didn't say much, but work mates are a nightmare and friends to. Asking "are you pregnant yet", "wow- you can smell so and so's lunch in the tearoom - you must be pregnant".
Luckily we conceived our second month and I'm 6 1/2 weeks now and no one knows- still getting those questions.
I think it's best to say you'd like a family, but I wished I hasn't said we were trying straight away. People seem to forget all social graces and boundaries and feel they are entitled to pry into your journey.
Just my own experience. Others may completely differ!
Last edited by S12; 19-08-2012 at 10:21.
19-08-2012 16:24 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
How do you keep quiet?
Lots of people knew that we'd start trying once we were married. That was April. I think because they expect it, they are not asking as they know that we'll tell them when we are.
My mum and best friend are both great for support every month when my period arrives, and seem to understand my emotions a lot better than hubby does. Without their support, I'd definitely go nuts. But because I whinged every month when I get my period, they'll both know as soon as I am pregnant cos I'll have stopped whinging.
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