**Haven't read all replies**
I have a high libido, and DF has what would be considered a low libido due to his job demands and his stress levels. We still have s3x, about once a week to once a fortnight (both could be normal for us, dependant on his shifts etc).
Would I consider an open relationship because of this? Nope. I am happy to have sex with only him, when he is in the mood for it. Sometimes his libido goes high, sometimes it is non-existent. I'm patient and for me a huge part of sex is the connection and trust between us, it's the love.
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24-01-2012 14:05 #81-
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24-01-2012 14:14 #82
Wow, interesting. Really seems to be a 50/50 split on this. Love seeing the world from someone else's POV!
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24-01-2012 14:24 #83
Long term relationship here.
We long ago came to the agreement that we could go to others partners, but it has to be discussed beforehand and if the other person said no, it was a definite no.
Why not go to a swingers night or put out an ad for a wife swap while you're still young and sexually active, if it's safe and makes you feel good both physically and mentally?
Nobody can accuse us of having a boring s3x life, and we don't ever suffer trust issues. We have a better and stronger relationship than most of the couples who jealously 'ban' each other from looking at other people.
It's purely instinctive to want to spread your gene pool as much as possible, why not go with the flow and have a good time?
24-01-2012 14:31 #84
I worry about diseases and falling pregnant without knowing entirely who owns the baby, obviously my child's father feels the need to spread the love because he has 6 kids that he is aware of. Probably a few he is unaware of. 4 of them are in no way supported by him. I choose abstinence outside of a solid relationship.
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24-01-2012 14:54 #85
I think s$x can be an act of love/deep connection to another. But I also think sometimes it can be just physical, just for pleasure.And finally to make things even more confusing, I think it takes a certain personality to detach themselves emotionally when having s$x with someone for a sole physical purpose.So I guess open relationships could work if the person had the right frame of mind. I would be open to an open relationship if my partner was involved, & vice versa. But if they had no interest in s$x, & didn't want to be apart of an open relationship then I don't see it working. If that makes sense???
24-01-2012 15:23 #86
24-01-2012 15:27 #87
24-01-2012 15:37 #88
For myself - nope no way to an open relationship.
I'd stick it out for a while, because I don't have a high s3x drive lately, what with pregnancy, breast feeding, pregnancy... Poor df... Of the 5 years we've been together I've been pregnant or breast feeding for 4 of them and my body really struggles with being multi-functional. Though I do definitely enjoy when we do, I just don't often feel like it. I'm too tired most of the time.
Anyhoo - if there was love, connection, intimacy & affection... But no s3x or s3xual chemistry, no attraction, OR a physical reason either of us couldn't... It'd take a while before I'd want to leave.
But ultimately for me an open relationship or a s3xual-less relationship just wouldn't last for me. I want more than that.
If DF ever said he wanted to get it elsewhere because I wasn't putting out enough I'd tell him feel free, don't let the door hit you on the way out - and dont come back!
24-01-2012 15:46 #89has left the building
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- Dec 2008
It's not something i think would work for me, i am just someone who has an emotional connection to sex and thus i can't really see myself being okay with my DH sleeping with anyone else or me sleeping with anyone else.
I can see the appeal for other people who can separate sex and love and i think it's a matter of what works for the couple.
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24-01-2012 15:54 #90
Making love/having sex with DH is better than sex with anyone else because I love him more than anything in the world. We know what turns each other on and we're deeply in love and we're expressing this love. But there are things that I like which he doesn't do/doesn't like to do so I enjoy sleeping with men who do these things. Hubby has no problems, I have no problems.
I understand that it's not for everyone, but we have a brilliant relationship and it works very well for us.
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